Monday, August 21, 2017

Looking At The Sun



O.K. freaks.  The big day is here.  Grab your socks and hold onto your cocks (or whatever genitals you may own). . . I was excused from jury duty.  That's right!  I was supposed to report today, but I checked the website and it says I have been excused.  I think they might have heard about me.  I don't know.  I had to fill out an online form, and maybe some of the answers I put down dissuaded them.  I don't think they fact check very carefully.  It seems you can put down just about whatever you want.  I wanted to attach this jpeg to my form, but I could find no way to upload it.  I told them that I was a Wicken and that today was very special to me.  My tribe and I have some very special ceremonies planned.  They say animals behave very peculiarly today.  We've gotten a bunch of them just to see.  I'm wearing double seated rubber pants just in case things go horribly wrong.  A day like this. . . well, who knows.

Truly, people are excited about looking at the sun with special glasses, and for the life of me, I can't understand why.  Are you really going to trust your eyesight to a drug addict in a factory making paper and plastic glasses?  So many have already been recalled, you'd think people would have more sense.  But nope.  They can't wait to roll the dice.  It will look much better on television anyway.  You can look at the t.v. screen without danger.  O.K.  But at least cover one eye.  You don't need to see it in stereo vision.  Save something for the future.

I could have made this picture so much more interesting if I had cooked it up.  I could have, but I didn't.  I never have the right time/energy ratio.  My life has been troubled.  When I am not at the factory, all I want to do is lie upon the couch.  I can't walk anyway, as my Achilles tendon is still blown up the size of a ping-pong ball and it is painful just getting across the room.  Oh, yes, I hear you.  I should see a doctor.  Again, though, the time/energy factor comes into play.  And you know what they say.

"It will get better on its own."

Isn't that what they say?

I look forward to seeing all the new cross-species that are the result of today's madness.  They may even top the genetic engineering that is going on in China.  The kangaroo men, and all of that.

After today, it will all be fine.  Everything will be peachy.


Don't worry kid.  Just look at the sun.  Pay no attention to what the animals are doing.  It's o.k.  No problem.

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