Feeling Lucky

I woke this morning to a million billion trillion Robin Redbreasts. A good omen, I think, though I don't believe in omens (not officially) and though the morning is cold and grey. Perhaps that is how it should be. I am excited. I don't feel the need to rise to the expectations of the weather. And the robins made me feel as lucky as I used to feel after college living in my mother's house (I know, I know) when I would wake to hear them rustling for bugs beneath the dead brown maple leaves. Maple? I think so. I want to say mulberry, but I don't think they have them here. The robins would camp in the backyard of my mother's house for a week or so. Then one day, they would just be gone.

I am trying to think of the device to use to warn the readers of this blog that there is going to be some rough stuff coming in the narrative. I struggle with putting that here. I am trying to be truthful in my writing, but there are many ways of being truthful, if there is a truth at all. Perhaps there is only memory and telling. Still, there are choices to be made. And telling the truth does not always make sense. But the dullish, sensitive, naive character central to the narration is going to do some dumb and sometimes awful things that run against both the laws of man and nature. Even if I am not graphic in the telling, the ideas might be shocking. But that boy had an awfully curious imagination that he was just beginning to explore and being exposed to some pretty awful things in his early life had made him unafraid to explore the pretty awful things. So I don't know. I'm still thinking.

Perhaps a disclaimer of sorts:

Dearest, gentle reader,

What lies beyond this note may be shocking to some of you, even those of you who think. . . etc.

I'll tell you this, though. I've thought about shutting down the blog as I am going through what my friend calls "a rough patch" right now, though it is more than rough. But I think that such quitting is all too common, and that if there is no other pride to be had in writing this, there is the consistency of posting every day, rain or shine, wind, snow, sleet, hail, or dark of night. People need something to count on in life even if they don't like it. I remember feeling a sense of loss when long running t.v. shows I hated were cancelled after a twenty year stint. I never watched the damned things, but I realized that I felt better just having them around.

I'm only in my third season, but the number of visitors continues to grow. My question now is how to tell them the hard thing. The answer is just to tell them. But with what art?