I went to the gym after work tonight. I dressed in the clothes I had in my gym bag. On the way out of the locker room, I glanced in the mirror. I looked goofy as shit. My t-shirt was oddly shaped, too long in the torso, too wide at the neck, the short sleeves far too long. I had on a ridiculous pair of Nike shorts and wore basketball socks with my running shoes. I had no other clothes. There was nothing to do. Fortunately, the gym was relatively empty, so though I felt embarrassed for the way I was dressed, there were few people there with whom to share my embarrassment.
After the gym, I went to Whole Foods to buy some magic tonics and beer and wine and juice and organic eggs and dinner from their hot bar. The store was packed with pretty girls. I tried not to make eye contact. I could feel my ridiculous outfit as if it were skin. Jesus. That is always the way.
On the way out, the girl at the registrar picked up something I bought on a lark, an organic turkey ham. I thought it would make a good and healthy snack. When she took it in her hand, though, she brought it close and twirled it around close to her hipster glasses.
"Wow! I've never seen one of these before. Huh." She turned it 'round and 'round in her hand.
"I know," I said. "I wonder how they got them to do it?"
She looked at me and chuckled.
"I wonder which species was the male," I queried. The boy bagging groceries began to laugh.
"I'll bet it was the turkey," I said, and he nodded in agreement. I thought the girl at the register might pee herself.
They were slow to pack me up. This was fun, a nice break from working, I thought. They didn't want me to leave.
Back in the car, I had a text from the girl I didn't go out with on Friday night. It was irreverent. We had solid plans for this Friday night. . . I think.
Sometimes even in lousy clothing the world turns out to be fun. There is a lesson in that somewhere, I'll bet.
I like his bigness. Or at least he seems that way in the photo
ReplyDelete. I bought a tin type last week of six men in what looks like the old west. They have cowboy boots on but look more like the banker the funeral director grocer his son etc. it was hidden in the antique coop in a case of a woman who is notorious for having really cool stuff cheap but not many customers. I keep her case a secret. She told me her brother lives in New Mexico and sends her boxes of stuff he buys out there. I once purchased a stunning turquoise bracelet.
Anyway. I really like the experimentation. I hope you keep embracing the mistakes. They are exciting.
He is 6"6', I think. I am used to making mistakes, but these cost me $20/pop. I just want to make mistakes on someone else's dime.
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