Anger, Loss, And Then. . . .

I wrote a blog entry for today yesterday after a model cancelled on me.  She texted me at 8:30 to confirm.  At 10:30 she cancelled.  I had arranged my day around this and was pissed.  Really pissed.  So I copied the series of text messages to the blog.  I even thought about posting a link to her website but even in my anger changed my mind about that.  Anger and frustration are not good places from which to write a blog.

So this morning, I deleted it.

I am angry and frustrated too much lately.  It is a horrible way to be.

I came home and decided to cook up some images from recent shoots until I figured out how I would arrange my day.  I tried waking my iMac, but it didn't come on so I figured I had shut it down.  I disconnected an external hard drive and brought it to my laptop to download some music Q had sent to me.  When I connected it, I got a message saying that it could not be repaired and that I should try to back up the files that were left.

?????

I took it back to the iMac and plugged it in.  The computer woke up.  It was not shut down after all.  I held my breath hoping the files would be restored.  Nope.  Same message.  I had the images from three shoots that were gone.  Lost forever.  Poof!

I have been grieving about this since.  I haven't told the models yet that they will get no images from the shoot.  I can't believe it.  Everything else on that drive was backed up on another, but I hadn't gotten around to those three shoots yet.  Another lesson learned.

Perhaps those models will be angry and frustrated.  Perhaps they will want to post a message about the horrible photographer who cheated them out of their time and effort and images.  Perhaps they will want to post a link to my site.

Perhaps, in the end, they will be as thoughtful and gracious as I.

I have a shoot at nine-thirty this morning.  Really?  On a Sunday?

I hope she shows.