Pretending and Dreaming

Four days off.  I was beginning to feel good again.  I actually had some success in the studio.  It takes time both to work at a process and to think about it and what it means and how it should be used.  It takes time to imagine.  It takes longer to bring imagination to fruition.  And so this morning I prepare to return to the factory.  There the imagination is of no use.  The buildings are constructed so that the imagination is quashed.  It is a place to be endured.

I have been given the phone number of a photographer friend of Emily Ratajkowski.  I'm not certain what good that will do me.

"Hey, fellow, you don't know me but how about hooking a brother up?"

"Sure, bro, anything for you."

I don't know.  I mean if I don't contact him, it will be like everything else in my life.  In Hollywood, people do silly things like this all the time.  You take an in and try running with it.  But I am very sane and was raised by practical hillbillies.  That is another place where dreams do not come to fruition.

There is a difference between pretending and dreaming.  Isn't there?

I don't know.  Was Vivian Maier pretending or dreaming?  Everything sat in closets and storage containers while she continued to work as a nanny.  Nobody knew.

I like these photos from the Holga and film processed in the instant jizz.  They have a dreamy quality about them.

"Why are you always so dreamy?!  You need to get busy and quit fooling around with those pictures all the time.  What the hell are you gonna do with them?  There ain't no use in it.  C'mon now, clean up your room.  We gotta go help Uncle Charlie put up that wall today."

Maybe I'll pretend not to go to the factory.  I don't know how that works.  I'm pretty sure that is not doable.