Random Behavior

I didn't go to work yesterday.  I didn't do much, either, nothing close to what I thought to do when I decided not to go to work.  I am lazy, I think.  But I have an active imagination.

I did manage to get to the studio late in the day to work on some of the new processes I wanted to try.  None of them worked, or not in the way I wished or not completely.  So last night, I did a little research and think that I might have discovered some information that can help.  I know it can be done.  I just have to find the right chemicals and the right times.  Sitting here in the dining room watching the sun come up now, I must decide on one of two things: work in the studio or go to the beach.  If the day looks nice, I will opt for the beach.  I will come back home by early afternoon and can work on my projects then.  I only bore you with this to make a point.  Neither thing will happen or at least not in the way I project.  I will end up going to the mall to buy shoes or something otherwise unexpected.  It is how I manage never to get anything done.  Random behavior.  Some of you may be subject to it, too.

My life is not coming together in a narrative form.  I am unable to write it.  I will need to begin making up stories, it seems.  That is difficult to do well.  I must get into my car and go shopping for vignettes.  The models I photograph tell me incredible things and I ask if I can write them and they say yes, but it feels like too much of a betrayal most times as if you will be able to connect the story to the photo image.  And because I believe the physical form shapes destiny, I would be too descriptive about their looks, descriptive enough that you could recognize them, I think.  And some of you may recall that I have been burnt by this before.  I love the people I work with truly, and I wouldn't have them hurt for anything--but that doesn't help to make good stories.

The sun is coming up bright.  It is a clear morning.  I think I'll straighten the house for the maids and go early to the beach.  It is a plan.