Hot Mess

Originally Posted Wednesday, April 10, 2013

"My life is good. . ."

"It is more than good.  It is enviable." 

"Yes, I've been lucky, really.  But sometimes. . . "

"Oh, no, don't start.  You are lucky, alright.  You have everything." 

"But where am I going to keep it?" 

"What?  Oh. . . ha. . . funny." 

"I keep thinking of what I don't have.  I wish. . . "

"No, you can't think like that.  You can't start.  It is a form of mental illness.  Stay focused on all the things you have."

"But it is too much to think about.  It all gets bunched up and clogged in my mind.  I get blind to it.  I wish. . . "

"No, I am not going to listen to that.  Now stop it." 

(conversation overheard at a restaurant)

Today's photo reminds me of one of Picasso's paintings, a woman with large feet and hands.  I've been trying to find an image of it online but I can't.  It is difficult without knowing the title.  I could do that, I think, make the feet and hands enlarged, but really the pose here is enough.  It is somewhere between Picasso's primitivism and one of Balthus' stilted model postures.  I love these most.  This model is just marvelous.  She comes back to the studio tomorrow night.  She has the perfect expression all the time--blank.  It is difficult to get that blankness with some models.  They want to express through their eyes and mouths.   No, no, I say, but it is difficult.  This model, however, is deadpan.  I think for that Norwegians would be best.  Maybe Finns.  Perhaps I will advertise that way.  "Wanted: Norwegian models.  Perhaps Finn's as well."  That should do it. 

I slept too late today.  I like it, but now I am jammed up on what needs to be done.  I must find my W-whatever so I can file for a tax extension.  I'm a complete mess.  A "hot mess," as one girl calls me.  I thought that it was a compliment, but some other girls told me absolutely not. 

I, however, just Googled the term.  It can be either.  Here is the one I prefer in this instance.  I think it describes me perfectly.

1. hot mess
November 4, 2010 Urban Word of the Day

When ones thoughts or appearance are in a state of disarray but they maintain an undeniable attractiveness or beauty.