The Root Cause of All Crime

There might be too much sex in America.  I don't know.  How can you tell?  I mean what scale do you use?  There is more of it for public consumption than in, let's say, Afghanistan or Egypt, but who the hell wants to live there.  Nobody is trying to immigrate ti Pakistan.  Perhaps they have too little.  But how can you tell that, either?  How much is too little?  How much is too much?  How do I know if my own sense of it is accurate?  It may be skewed by the number of women I photograph and the stories they tell me.  One woman recently told me that she and her boyfriend split after fifteen years together.  They were both in their mid-forties.  He began to want to experiment, she said.  He wanted to have sex with other couples.  So they did.

"Does that work?" I asked.  "I mean it seems that somebody is always getting the short end of the stick.  It would be hard to find a couple that each of you were equally interested in the other person's partner, right?"

"I did it, but sometimes I wasn't even attracted to the fellow.  I thought of it as something that my boyfriend and I did together, you know, like an adventure."

The way she said it made it seem as if somehow this would bring them closer together.  I was pretty sure, though, that couldn't be the case.  And in this instance, it turned out, I was right.

"After awhile, he wanted to bring home guys for me to be with.  He would talk about other women and say that he should meet up with them, and I was like, I thought we were doing this together, you know.  I thought we were partners."

Why do guys always want to see their girlfriends and wives with somebody else?  They all do, even Christians.  It never turns out well.  The only way it could ever work is if you got to kill the other guy when it was over so he wasn't a concern any more, but convention keeps us from doing that.  You would have to be a foreign pasha to get away with that, but then you would have a harem and not be as concerned about such things.

In the end, of course. . . you know how the swinger thing turned out.

And after that, she went on Match.com.

"I'm sure that's the best way to meet a guy," I said.  I was being ironic though I do know several couples who got together through eHarmony.  Don't think they are friends of mine.  I just know them.

"If I were to go on a dating site," I told her, "it would be ChristianMingle.com."

She looked at me like I was a liar.

"No.  True dat."

Why, you may be asking yourselves?  I can't tell you.  The answer would be way too revealing.  But trust me.  I am right.

Back to my point, though, if I really had one.  I've heard of the Jew Cruise and other Jewish dating sites, but I've not heard of IslamMingle.com.  There must be one, though, right?  And eHinduforYou.com?

I should have done my research.  Here are the top ten Islamic dating sites.  And Match.com has the Hindu thing tied up.

And now, I realize, I need not have bothered myself with the question.  The Hindu had the answer all along (answer).

So yes, I guess there is too much sexual content on display in America.  You would think that our pleasure sensors would be worn away to nothing, but such is not the case.  I've never heard anybody say, "No, I've seen all the titties I ever want to see.  I'm done."  Picture a fellow at his computer after midnight who has to work early in the morning.  He knows he needs to go to bed, but he keeps saying, "Just one more. . . just one more," as he clicks away with his mouse.

At work the next day, of course, he is useless.

Now please don't conflate nudity and sex.  That is not my intention here at all.  This site is clearly sex-free.  This is not a place to come get titillated (even though a lot of my traffic comes from some pretty sleazy search terms).

The whole thing is confounding me, really.  I hear stories and have the internet.  I read about this boy in California going on a killing spree because he couldn't get laid.  Now some righteous ideologues are blaming the way we portray women in our culture for the killing.  I think if that were the case, though, there wouldn't have been many women left in this country by the turn of the new century.  I know what they mean, but that can't be it.  They kill more women in conservative Islamic countries where women are locked away and never seen.  No, that can't be it at all.  The guy was subnormal.  To extrapolate from such an aberration is too obviously ideological exploitation.

I think.

I mean, I am in much the same boat as the subnormal. . . economically impoverished as he, unable to get women to pay attention to me. . . but killing people is not something I think would alleviate that.  Hell, I had a woman chatting me up all week about seeing me on Saturday only to flake on me.  It just made me want to be alone more, not less.  I seem to always have a good time when I'm with me.  Other people tend to take away from that most of the time.  But perhaps time and experience have jaded me.

In conclusion. . . . I haven't any way to conclude this shambles of a personal essay.  It is just thinking out loud about a horrific event.  That kid was fucked up and somebody should have noticed.  I blame the parents.  I always blame the parents.  And doing so has taught me many good lessons.

I'm sure Q has more to say on the matter, and as he IS a parent, I'll leave it to him.  He certainly has more insight into the matter.