Originally Posted Thursday, June 27, 2013
Why must people marry at all to give their benefits to someone? This is the unasked/unanswered question. My gay friends (what a fucking thing to say) were excited by yesterday's Supreme Court decision even though they don't think it went far enough. I cackle. "You will be coerced into marriage," I say. "You will help perpetuate the entire marriage farce."
My benefits and my estate (whoa!) should go to whomever I want them to go to (sorry, I couldn't get away from the prepositions). I want Friends with Benefits.
The entire concept of family and parenthood are now a giant social construct. Well. . . it was giant before, but it has gotten bigger. I will adopt three Thai girls, stair steps, and be their daddy in my old age. I, like Liberace, will leave my fortune to these fabulous kids. My little girls. My heirs. Bright as they can be. Pretty, too. It will be a handsome family.
Why can't I be happy for others? Why do I always have to go another step? Why can't I simply say, "Yay, Gay Marriage." Why must it be just another structure to kick against (o.k., against which to kick)? This is little better than what I deleted yesterday though it isn't confessional. My wiring has gone wrong. Everything is misfiring.
For those of you who have been clamoring for a self-portrait, here it is. This is it. Alone in the Void. No benefits. No beneficiaries. An uncaring cosmos. Rain is poison. Sex is death. The polar ice caps are breaking up and melting. The only way to maintain the structure is to let the outsiders in. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. Under which shell is the coin. Best two out of three. Paula Dean will be forgiven and richer than ever. She will host a television show with O.J directed by Spike Lee called "Crackers and Juice."
Jesus, I've lost my mind.
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