Sexting and the Married Man

Originally Posted Saturday, June 29, 2013

Jesus--I had so many ideas to write about for today's blog post, but I can't remember any of them.  That should scare me, I guess.  I received a lot of email yesterday about sexting, and I was wondering about married men.  Do their wives sext them?  I certainly think that should be exciting for them, wives texting naked pictures of themselves from strange locations.  It stimulates unusual feelings in men to think of their wives naked somewhere without them.  Jealousy and desire are not so far apart.  All men would watch their wives make love to other men if they could kill the fellow afterwards.  It is a strange part of the male brain.  I think even Pat Robertson would back me up on this one. 

"Wait. . . this isn't a selfie.  You're not holding the camera!"

"I put it on the self-timer." 

Ooooo. . . that's when the bullshit begins, the believing and not believing at once. 

I asked one of my friends if his wife ever sexted him, and he said yes.  I was surprised.  I didn't get to ask him his reaction to getting the pictures, but I can't trust him anyway.  I'm not sure I trust him that she  does, really.  Maybe.  She needs to send them to both of us, I think, so I can verify the statement.  But they are tricksters, or at least he is, and fully capable of sending me some internet picture without a face of somebody that looks like her.  And then he will laugh.  What good are friends like this who would fool you about such intimate things.  You know I'm talking about YOU, buddy.  You've done it before. 

Anyway, if she were truly good, she would send him pictures of her friends. 

But this is all nonsense, of course.  We are not really aroused by such things.  It is silliness and should be left to the kids.  They are aroused by everything.  We are the sort now who goes to a whorehouse to play pool, too jaded and desensitized to care about the things that used to dominate us.  We are museum goers.  We are finished revealing our shortcomings to everyone

Ho!

The sun is so far north now that it blinds me where I sit.  Everything is green and lush, and I am newly disgusted by people who do not have fresh, beautiful lawns and well-tended landscaping.  It is our job to add aesthetic charm to an otherwise random world, no? 

I have much too much to do today.  I'd prefer not to, but sometimes that is all life is--right?--one fucking thing after another.