Something Human

Originally Posted Sunday, October 6, 2013

I had been a monk, and a very good monk, too, I should say.  Then there were the visits and the dinners and the parties.  It all seemed to steal away from the time I had desired to be alone.  I wanted my couch and the print rugs and the dim lights and the books and kindles and movies on the big screen t.v.  Monkish luxury for sure, but I don't think it disqualifies me. 

Now the evening sky begins to mute the high bright blues, the color draining from the low things in shadows.  The air is gentle and makes me desirous.  I feel lonely.  I am ruined.  I will be sad tonight reading alone, later watching some recorded show I had so wanted to see. 

Something stirs.  I long for something human. 

It is more than awful.