All That I Want (The Spirit of the Season)

Originally Posted Tuesday, December 24, 2013

And then it was Christmas Eve. 

I don't know how, really.  It just came upon me practically unawares.  I have gotten no Christmas cards in the mail.  I've only bought the presents I needed to for my mother.  I did not buy the lovely tree at Pottery Barn as I said I would do.  I have not skated in the park.  I did not go to the Christmas parade nor the lighting of the town's tree nor to Vespers nor to the Bach Choir's singing of carols. I have not seen Santa Clause.  This was no conscious boycotting of things.  I've tried, honestly.  I've just been so busy and worn out and exhausted, and consequently, I've missed the season. 

I can only wonder. 

I looked online for a Christmas card to give you.  Vintage, of course.  There were many from which to choose, many classic old Santas in deep, dark reds, subdued rather than shiny.  More St. Nick than the modern day Santa, his cloth's color coming from vegetable rather than chemical dyes, his sacks hand sewn, his boots cobbled.  There were some with the little baby Jesus, but not so many as you might think.  None of them spoke to me, though, as much as the images of people in the moment, that comfortable, beautiful moment that is what I remember most about the season.  It was the feeling of nearness, the shorter days and the soft light.  This couple for me embodies it, at least the way I feel this year.  Walking arm and arm with someone, from here to there, the cold and the promise of warmth not far away, part of a true joy that is swollen with the season, the greater spirit.

It is true, even if it isn't. 

I have woken too early this morning.  I'd like to say it is in anticipation of the day, but it is something else.  The sun is just now not rising as the gray sky comes visible.  It shall be a drizzly, gray Christmas Eve, a change in the weather here, a new season.  I've loaded up with foods to satisfy my every longing and have everything to cook for tomorrow's afternoon meal.  I'll see friends today and my mother tonight.  I am a tender-hearted romanic, of course, and later alone will feel the spirit of the season in the sky dropping down the chimney of house after house after house of those who feel the need.  I hope it visits you tonight, too. 

Here is my favorite Christmas song for you.

All That I Want

Sincerely, Merry Christmas.