Wednesday, August 20, 2014

The Secrets of Life


Originally Posted Wednesday, February 5, 2014

The secrets of life are now available on the internet.  Now everyone can know.  Eat lots of fruits and vegetables.  Get exercise.  Reduce stress.  Sleep at least eight hours every night.  Say your prayers. 

I made the last one up.  And if you are a reader of this blog, you may think I am making a sarcastic statement.  I don't think I am (I'm still deciding).  Prayer does have power, you see.  It is calming.  It is contemplative.  It is focused.  Monkish, etc. 

Anyway, my point is that the secrets of life are pretty simple.  Avoid harsh things.  Enjoy the gentle ones. 

Why is this so difficult to remember? 

Kate Moss is famous for telling us:  "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." 

Obviously she was wrong. 

More appropriate and profound, of course, is Oscar Wilde's, "I can resist everything but temptation." 

It's nine-forty five and there is no liquor in the house.  You are not drinking and the liquor stores close in fifteen minutes.  What do you do?  Just wait a few more minutes?

Or better yet, here's one I'll bet you haven't heard.  It is any time, day or night.  You are famous, probably the best actor in the world.  You've kicked your heroin habit.  You know it is bad for you.  You've told everybody so.  Fear, you say.  But the ATMs are open all night.  WTF? 

Chilling, right?  It's enough to make you head straight for the oatmeal this morning.  No more coffee, no more tea.  And I swear I'll give up the Kitty Kaboom! 

I'm going for my flu shot and getting any other vaccines I may have missed.  And shit. . . I wish I'd never laid out in the sun.  I should have moved to an Ashram. 

All it takes is just a little restraint and a clean and quiet place.  That and a light for the night. 

Surely it is only insomnia.  Many must have it.

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