Originally Posted Saturday, May 10, 2014
I'm just pulling things from the vault. Maybe I've gotten too old for street photography. I can't bring myself to (a go out with a camera and "waste" my time exploring events or strange places and/or (b approach people with a camera. I want to, I really do. But it takes a lot of physical and psychic energy and I barely have enough to make it through a regular day. I can't tell if my fatigue is psychological or physical, but they are not mutually exclusive and so it is probably both. I think it is more about time which I seem to have so very little of for myself any more. I need desperately to go shopping for things (furniture, clothing) and to do some long overdue yard work, and maybe it is just that. Perhaps I have simply let things pile up so much where the things I need to do are weighing me down so that I can't allow myself to do the things I want.
I learned that in Trite Analysis 101, 3 credits. I took it online.
I just took the better part of an hour recalling a shoot I had once with a very long African-esque mother of a four year old who only dated white boys. The tale was long and sordid, and in the end, I couldn't post it. It was like the photos that I do not post. Some things are better done in person. And I can't trust myself this morning. I had a late dinner and some drinks and then took a Xanax and went to bed. I am still putty in body, mind, and spirit, and I am sure my judgement is poor. I don't even trust the picture I have put with this writing. I am going to change it. And again. No, I cannot trust myself at all. History teaches us that some days are best spent lying in bed.
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