Her

Originally Posted Thursday, May 15, 2014

"Her."  

I watched it last night.  I was in a mood and fell in love.  Why did she have to go?  Oh, Spike Jonze wanted us to know that emotions are messy things, I guess.  Paired with "Don Jon," though, there is a strong case to be made for making love with your computer.  All the moralizing aside, both films say one thing--you can't trust Scarlet Johansson.  No, that is not it.  They say it is too easy to fall in love with her.  And though Theodore and Jon end up with humans for companions and the films end on sentimental up notes, you can be pretty sure what the sequels would show. 

If you haven't seen these films, that last paragraph means nothing to you at all.  Selah.

So how's this, then--Joaquin Phoenix has to be considered one of the most impressive actors of his era.  I know, I know, it is hard to believe.  But watch "Two Lovers" and tell me I'm wrong.  I know he will be remembered for his crazy performance on David Letterman forever, but I think it adds to rather than detracts from his credibility as an actor.  And, I must say, it shows how mean-spirited a man Letterman can be. 

Now for the "My Life Sucks" update.  Last night, I heard a sound I'd heard once before, the hissing of a tiny leak in a pipe under the house.  This is bad.  Very, very bad.  It is something I've been dreading since the last time I heard it.  This could cost me very, very much money.  My house is an old wooden one with too small a crawl space.  I'm not sure I can get anyone under there to work on the pipes.  It will have to be a very skinny man which is what I asked for when  I called the plumbing company this morning.  I also said "midget."  Any normal size human will not do it, I think.  Last time the plumber took some boards off the side of the house and was able to do the repair.  When he did it, he said that one day I would need to have the whole thing re-plumbed.  $10,000 is what he suggested.  Needless to say, I woke again at 3:30 a.m. with nightmarish thoughts.  I got up to get a drink of water, but I couldn't because I had shut the water off at the street.  Shitpissfuckgoddamnjesuschristmotherfucker. 

I want somebody who loves me to tell this to.  It could be an operating system.  I want Her. 

But you know, I've been in love with Johansson since I watched my all time favorite movie.  Saw it before anyone else in the whole world because I am hip like that.  I saw it before its second release which came just after it went to video.  Saw it before the academy award nomination that brought it to people's attention.  Saw it and fell in love.  It was the very first shot of the film that did it.  "Lost in Translation." 

If only I were as clever as Bill Murray.