Originally Posted Saturday, August 23, 2014
I grew up with racial prejudice of the kind you are seeing in Missouri. I can't even tell you about it. You would think I'm making it up.
The darker you are, the worse you are treated just about everywhere in the world. You'd have to get tired of that sooner or later. I would. I'd do the worst things you can imagine.
When Obama got elected, I told my friend that racism was a thing of the past, that kids today hadn't grown up that way. My friend was the first black kid in her county to be integrated into a white school. She has an axe to grind. I told her those times were over.
She looked at me like I was a stupid white boy.
As we are all so often given to saying, what the fuck did I know? You don't know what you don't know, right?
I am not a liberal apologist. That is why I have black friends, I think. They trust me. I'm not lying to them, I'm just stupid sometimes. It is easier to forgive the uninformed than the liars. It would be better if people said what they really believe, what they really mean.
There are people who have it bad, I know, O.K. I know. I have it easy, but it doesn't mean I don't want to whine and complain. Let's talk about me for awhile. Let's talk about my meltdown and subsequent meanness and depression. Let's talk about my lack of sleep and how hard I have to work to keep myself in my middle-class home with sprinklers and hedgerows and maids and a yardman and a repairman. Let's talk about these middle-class blues and my lack of vacation and how much the new shutters cost and my bluetooth speakers and how I don't have enough money for everything I want.
Just for the record, my friend, the black woman who calls my bullshit. . . she makes more money than I. As a matter of fact, so do most of "my black friends." Don't you love that? It's a hell of a category. I'm sure I'm one of their white friends, too. I don't care. We all want the same thing, or mostly. They are for peace and justice and a certain hipness that isn't too dangerous or disruptive. They are the first or maybe in some cases the second generation to have money to pass on to the next generation. There hasn't been a lot of black inheritance. And "my black friends" are much more generous than I. They give more money to help people than I do. I've seen them do it. They give to causes and to individuals. They will set up a college scholarship in an instant. They will buy someone's schoolbooks or pay for them to go on a school field trip. I am not quite as quick as they are, but they are teaching me about my egocentricity. They are my friends. They teach me a lot. And I won't stand by while someone fucks with them.
I'm just saying.
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