What's The Difference?

Originally Posted Sunday, October 19, 2014

I never used this picture because the model didn't like it.  She was wrong, though, in not liking it.  For her, it was ego.  She thought she looked "frumpy."  She did not like the look on her face.  I don't know.  Making pictures is a collaborative thing, but if I think about what the model wants too much, I am making pictures for them rather than for. . . eternity.  I try to make some pretty pictures for them, but that is secondary.  And that is where the whole thing gets problematic.  You want someone who can forget themselves, forget who they are.  I do.  I am not me when I make the photographs.  I am someone else entirely. 

Ho!

I hate being in front of the camera.  They are lying things.  Pictures never look like me, so sweet and beautiful.  Why anyone wants to stand before a lens is beyond my ken.  But thank god, they do.  My ego is much too large to see the truth of things.  You must be an actor to stand before a lens.  Everyone is so beautiful but me.  I love their selfies.  Mine are hideous.  I am not a good actor, I think.  Those fucking cameras. 

They will be outlawed one day.  It is true.  You'll see.  They are the most dangerous things in the world.  Only cops will be allowed to carry them in public, them and some other public officials.  Have you noticed how bad cops always look when you photograph them?  They always look like they are beating or shooting someone.  I can attest to the fact that cameras lie. 

It is a beautiful fall weekend and the Catholic Church here is having their Fall Festival.  I didn't think about it until today.  I am not Catholic, so I wasn't informed, but I have been to this thing in the past and it is something absolutely wonderful.  It is Catholics doing what they do best.  It is a wonderful celebration that makes them a ton of money.  There is beer and ten dollar lobsters and big rides galore.  The fair seems to go on forever.  They have had the perfect weekend for it, and if I can, today I will go.  Perhaps I should take my mother instead of making dinner.  That would be fun.  Maybe.  Who knows? She is a Mormon, though, and you know how the Catholics and the Mormons roll.  They are competitors for the world's souls and money.  On second thought, she probably wouldn't enjoy it. 

"What's the difference between the Catholic missionaries and the Mormon missionaries?" one islander asked the other.  "The Catholics let you eat dog meat," he replied. 

My mother doesn't like dog meat.  I guess I'll cook for her tonight after all.