Xerox and Tape

Originally Posted Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Here is something I did at the factory yesterday.  I just needed to take a break from all the stupid shit I am required to do.  So I took a picture from the internet that I like (I can't remember the photographer--heresy, I know), and printed it out and then copied it on the Xerox in black and white.  Then I brought it back to my desk and used colored pencils to give it new life.  After that, I used Scotch tape to tape it in strips until it was entirely covered.  I then removed the paper with water and my finger.  I did this in the break room.  My coworkers would come in and ask me what I was doing.  "Art therapy," I would say.  One smart ass told me he was going to get some finger paints.  "Not a bad idea," I said.  It took about twenty minutes to get the paper off.  I didn't know what to do with it after that.  I threw it down on my desk on top of some papers and because it was now transparent, some of the markings showed through.  Cool.  I took a picture of it with my iPhone and added a filter.  Voila!  Making art on the company's dime. 

Now to do it with my own images. I like this distressed look, as you know.  Xeroxed images work well, I think.  It will be the irony of ironies that I use a $2,500 camera with a thousand dollar lens to make images that will be degraded on a copier.  C'est la vie.  I want to make them big, though.  I will have to figure out how I am going to do that.  Or I might do the same image three or six or nine times with slight variations and put them in rows the way Warhol did with silkscreens.  It is fun to think about.  I hope they will be fun to look at. 

I had something I wanted to talk about today, but I have forgotten it now.  Wait. . . it was something to do with the NFL.  Oh, Commissioner Goodell thinks that the answer to wife beatings is sensitivity training.  That's it.  I was thinking about that.  Fellows in the NFL need to be trained not to beat their wives and girlfriends. 

"O.K.  I want all the running backs over here.  Alright now, listen up.  When is it O.K. to hit a woman?"

Silence.

"Anyone?"

"When she won't listen!"

The room breaks out in raucous laughter.

"Knock it off, now.  You gotta take this shit seriously." 

I know it won't work that way, of course.  I've been through all the training sessions required at work. They bring in a Dr. Phil wannabe. A survey is given, some questions about the survey are asked, a short video is shown, a couple of dangerous examples are brought up, someone makes the right observation, someone makes a bad one which gives rise to discussion, everyone squirming and looking at the clock, people getting some of the free coffee or chocolates, and then the uplifting conclusion.  In the days that follow, they send out certificates. 

That's how management avoids lawsuits. 

But I'd rather talk about cooking.  I've read some mighty good recipes lately, and a friend of mine just made some delicious chicken in a homemade marinade that knocked me out.  Food is the answer.  Good food is the best answer.  It is a safer topic, though I know in the end I will figure out a way to be ironic.