(from the studio)
I was wrong. There isn't anything new in that. I am miserable. I won the bid on the Leica M Monochrom. I got it for a ridiculously low bid. The auction ended yesterday at happy hour, so I guess nobody was looking. The ridiculously low bid is still expensive. I feel myself an impoverished fool right now. I have a billion cameras. I will sell some of them on eBay to try to recoup some money, I tell myself. If I don't like the new Leica, I will just put it up for sale. I haven't lost the money. I've simply invested it for awhile.
No matter what I tell myself, though, the price gets conflated with what I am spending on the bathroom repair/redesign. I am convinced that I will never use the camera. I still have the Leica M7. I don't know what I was thinking.
And there was the inevitable argument. Love is never perfect. Friday night gone wrong. Saturday morning regret and dread. The uncertain future.
Q is using the same phone app for his blog now that I have been using. It is a cool Hipstamatic filter that makes things look like wet plate work. I love the Hipstamatic filters and I love cell phone photography. But I will have to quit using it now.
The morning is awkward. The day is graying. There is a decided dread or doom or at least lack of joy pulsing through my cells that I don't believe music will resolve. That trepidation and undecidedness and that miserable blank void at the pit of things. I wish it were otherwise.
At least I have the Leica.