Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Slings and Arrows
O.K. Even Q has started to mock me and my photographic skills now. It is hard to get a break, especially if you concede weakness. I've been slow in starting a new project and haven't perfected any skills as of yet. I am pregnant with ideas, though. I am just short on time.
But that's the nature of things--or simply nature. Nothing wants to fight for a kill. Every species chooses and easy prey, the sick, the lame, the injured. . . . You don't see polar bears fighting gorillas. O.K. Bad example. But a hunting lion always chooses the easiest target.
I've become an easy target.
I once knew what I was doing. A young, single, blind girl wearing a wedding dress and a mask and staring with unseeing eyes into the camera? Brilliant!
But I can capture the sad weirdness of life again. I know I can. You'll see.
I just need time. And more money. Lots of money.
My friend says I should quit making photos and try to market the ones I have. Maybe she is right. They have done me no good so far. I might start with a fire sale and try to get rid of as many of the large prints as I can at bargain basement prices. But that is not exactly what she means. I don't want to go out and talk to gallery owners, though, and try to perp my own work. I would be argumentative and sullen at the very best in such a situation. I might be violent at worst.
I will try again today to shoot with the Monochrom. I will go to the gym before work so that I will have my afternoon and evening free. I will have no company tonight, no commitments or obligations. Perhaps I can get one picture somehow.
But that is too much pressure. I've set myself up for failure, exposing my insufficiency and doomed to disappointment.
Did I tell you about Lillet and my seafood stew?
I'll just have to suffer the slings and arrows of old Double Dick until I find a formula for success once again. Until then. . . .