Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Christmas Now

I've left the factory for the rest of the year.  I couldn't face going in again without breaking apart, breaking down.  I sit here this morning making the adjustment.  Too many days of being an automaton leaves me off kilter.  I will have to learn how to be "me" again.

It begins with a day of cleaning.

My study is a mess of photo shit.  I will be playing host to my mother on Christmas Eve as she and Ili have planned their pajama party, so I must turn it into a habitat bedroom again.

I just want to walk with my camera in hand and get big balls for photographing people.

I guess I can't say "big balls" anymore.  Pictures, however, reveal I had them as a child.  I could post an example here if I had one readily at hand.

There is a reason they neuter dogs.

My pictures seem beautiful and meaningless to me.  Little droppings in and of time.  Bracketed.  Insignificant.  Monumental.

I am enamored with the foolishness of the past.  Funny thing, I read today that Trump is now more popular than Hillary even with his 35% approval rating.  Hillary gave us Trump.  Trump gave us #MeToo.  In a sense, Hillary won.

I have to go Christmas shopping now.  Amazon.  Must do it today in order to get things in time.  Inevitably, I will buy things for myself as well.  It is easier to buy for myself, of course.  Today begins my Christmas season.

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