Wednesday, February 6, 2019

I Can't Go On. I'll Go On

It finally happened.  Last night, I broke.  I hadn't until then.  It had been a bad day.  I had probably done too much, pushed myself too hard.  I try.  I don't want to be a burden, don't want to bring others down.  But yesterday, I could hardly stand it.  It happened after we got home from shopping.  We were talking about last year's birthday.  In our hotel room watching "I, Tanya," I got up and did a perfect double flying camel--into the wall, but still.  It was a beautiful thing.  I was beautiful.  The memory of that, just one year ago, broke me.

And so now it has happened.  We'll see how I go forward.  I'm sure it happens to everyone who gets disabled by accident.  Well, no one does it on purpose.

I'll be brave again today.  I go to therapy this morning.  I'll keep trying.

As Beckett's character cries, "I can't go on.  I'll go on."

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