Wednesday, February 6, 2019
I Can't Go On. I'll Go On
It finally happened. Last night, I broke. I hadn't until then. It had been a bad day. I had probably done too much, pushed myself too hard. I try. I don't want to be a burden, don't want to bring others down. But yesterday, I could hardly stand it. It happened after we got home from shopping. We were talking about last year's birthday. In our hotel room watching "I, Tanya," I got up and did a perfect double flying camel--into the wall, but still. It was a beautiful thing. I was beautiful. The memory of that, just one year ago, broke me.
And so now it has happened. We'll see how I go forward. I'm sure it happens to everyone who gets disabled by accident. Well, no one does it on purpose.
I'll be brave again today. I go to therapy this morning. I'll keep trying.
As Beckett's character cries, "I can't go on. I'll go on."