I couldn't help myself. Q sent me this a week or so ago and I turned it into a V-Day card. It is horrible. It is blasphemous. I can't stop myself, though. It makes me laugh.
I wish I had gotten to caption it, though. It should be "Oral or Anal." Saying "Or oral" is difficult.
I knew girl once who told me she thought all men were gay. Why's that, I asked. Because the first thing they want to do, she said, is stick it in your butt.
I think I'll start quizzing my male friends on which they prefer.
My Valentine's Day will be quiet with flowers and a card for mother.
It's O.K. I have never been good at these sort of days, anyway. Birthdays, Easter, Valentine's Day. . . they all got me in the doghouse. I am not good at making celebrations. I'm good at cuddling, but that is not what is called for on certain days of the year, I guess. When I am in a relationship, I feel the coming of these days with dread. I have no feeling for them. Flowers, candy, a card. . . these are not enough. A Bugatti, maybe, or something in a little Tiffany Blue box, and endless bottles of Cristal champagne. A room at the 4 Seasons and dinner at the Flagler Steakhouse.
O.K. Maybe I know what to do. . . I just can't afford to.
So maybe it is good to celebrate with mom and my own broken heart.
I'm ten days into my second vaccine now, almost fully covered. I made a beauty appointment for Thursday. I want to get everything. I want a massage and a facial. I should just book a day into a spa. But. . . did I ever show you a photo of my beautician?
She likes Lamborghinis and the rest of it.
I've been thinking about my upcoming travels. I am going to begin with driving trips around the state. Yesterday while visiting my mother, I started talking about sleeping in the Xterra. People do. The only trouble in my state is the heat, the humidity, and the bugs. I Googled camper air conditioners while we were talking and found a bunch of little ones that run off 12 volt batteries. It got me thinking. And dreaming. So after dinner last night, I searched for Xterra camping videos on YouTube. Lots of people do it. There were plenty of cool DIY modifications for sleeping and storing things. My blood was pumping.
And when I woke this morning, it was what I was dreaming about. Slipping out of the car and sitting in a camp chair with an apple and some yogurt. I was actually smiling.
I think that I may try it. I'd be saving a lot of money. And I don't have to do it every night. Motels and hotels and Air B&B will always be there.
Who knows. . . I may actually do it and not just sit home watching YouTube and dreaming. Just as soon as I beat this CLS.
One day at a time.
O.K. I need to get flowers and a card and some champagne for ma. That's my life. It's what I do.
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