Monday, May 1, 2023

Mayday! May Day!

People read this blog and then open up. It is amazing.  There is something therapeutic about "confession."  Ask any priest.  

I may be in an "existential crisis."  That's what I read the other day.  The tell-tale sign is my recent posting of old family secrets.  As people get older, the article said, they worry about their legacy.  

"What will people think of me?"

I prefer to think that I am an Ancient Greek.  I wish to have my name remembered.  Gloriously.  Like Paris.  

This was my girlfriend back in the day.  She just tap danced her way into my heart.  It was a dangerous relationship.  I tried to keep it secret.  


In truth, Sky sent this to me.  I asked permission to post it.  I am infatuated with. . . fill in the blank.  Ha!  No, I'm infatuated with the past and how it both gives birth and gives way.  Sky went on to win a few dance competitions.  You might remember her from a few years ago on "Dancing with the Stars."  For a couple years, she was a Rockette.  She was really good at the high kicks.  You might think there is nothing to it, but you should try it.  I knew a girl once who had the most perfect posture you've ever seen.  She said it was because she was on the high-kick team in high school.  Really?  Is that a true thing?  

Over the years, though, Sky became more interested in welding, and the whole dance thing just drifted into the past, a fine and profitable memory.  She married a Civil War Reenactment buff and they spend summers in Richmond acting out the famous battles.  

I have no idea where that came from.  It's just that every picture tells a story.  

I love that she would share this photo with me.  In actual real truth, she grows in great dimensions for me all the time.  Surprisingly.  

My own hillbilly pictures used to embarrass me.  I hid them.  Who would ever love a hillbilly, I thought, other than another hillbilly.  I ran and ran, but as my old, privileged friend, a prep school prick and son of a federal judge, used to tell women when I wasn't around, "He has to take five showers a day. . . ."  

It wasn't true.  I hardly ever bathed.  

Christ on a Cross, I am just riffing now.  

"Mayday! Mayday!"

You are actually supposed to say it three times. 

That's right, it's the first day of May.  And what does that mean?  

"In 1889, May 1 was designated May Day, a day in support of workers, by an international federation of socialist groups and trade unions in commemoration of the Haymarket Affair, a violent confrontation that took place on May 4, 1886, in Chicago, Illinois."

That's according to Encyclopedia Britannica. But the Farmer's Almanac has another version. 

"May Day (May 1) celebrates the return of spring! Learn about the origins of May Day and fun traditions, from surprise flower baskets to the Maypole. Don’t forget to wash your face in dew on the morning of May 1 for good luck."

I like that.  I am going out now while the dew is still on the ground.  Hold on.  I'll be right back. 

I did it.  I actually did.  Now, however, I am thinking it a mistake.  How many chemicals did I just rub on my sensitive skin?  Not only that, but it is a pagan right.  Good God, I've joined those heathen Wiccans.  

"May Day has its roots in astronomy? Traditionally, it was the halfway point between the spring equinox and the summer solstice! In ancient times, this was one of the Celtic cross-quarter days, which marked the midway points between the (four) solstices and equinoxes of the year. Did you ever dance around the maypole as a child? The strict Puritans of New England considered the celebrations of May Day to be licentious and pagan, so they forbade its observance, and the springtime holiday never became an important part of American culture as it was in many European countries."

And much, much more.  If you pair with someone by sundown, you will marry them on Midsummer's Day.  I don't think I've much chance of pairing with someone by sundown, though.  Maybe.  I'll go back to the Voodoo store and see what happens.  I wonder if they will have a Maypole?  I wonder if the Puritans will be protesting?  

My face is beginning to burn and itch.  That was really stupid.  

I feel bad about the story I made up about Sky.  It is only partially true.  She gets prettier every year, I think, and you can see where she started.  Someday I'll relate the great privileges and the great burdens of being a beautiful woman.  

I mean since I know them so well.  

Maybe she'll write a guest essay.  Hey now--there's an idea.  Or, I can have ChatGPT do it.  I used it for the first time yesterday.  Just so you can know how it works, I just asked it to write an essay on. . . well, you can tell.  

Being a beautiful female comes with its own set of privileges and burdens. On one hand, being conventionally attractive can open doors and provide opportunities that may not be available to others. However, it can also create unrealistic expectations and unwanted attention.
One of the privileges of being a beautiful female is that it can often lead to more positive first impressions. People may be more inclined to trust and respect someone who is attractive, which can be beneficial in both personal and professional settings. Additionally, beautiful women may have an easier time finding romantic partners or receiving attention from potential suitors.

However, these privileges can also come with a number of burdens. For example, being beautiful can create a sense of pressure to maintain one's appearance. This can be time-consuming and expensive, and can also lead to feelings of insecurity or self-doubt if one does not feel they are living up to societal beauty standards.

Another burden of being a beautiful female is the unwanted attention that often comes with it. This can include catcalling, harassment, and even assault in extreme cases. It can be difficult to navigate these situations without feeling objectified or unsafe, and many women feel like they are constantly on guard when out in public.

Overall, being a beautiful female is a complex experience with both advantages and disadvantages. While there are certainly benefits to being conventionally attractive, it's important to recognize and address the challenges that come with it as well.

 It produced that in about three seconds.  Sorry Sky. . . I think this says it all. . . Freshman Essay Style.  

I'll bet I can get it to write a legal brief.  Maybe it can set up a trust for me, help me write my will. I have really missed having my own attorney in the house.  

What silliness has overtaken me?  Maybe it is simply May Day.  It is a beautiful May Day here, and I want to take advantage of it.  I have a very busy week ahead, numerous events to attend, a beauty appointment, and a trip to the Moderne.  

Since we're sharing, I guess I should post something shameful.  Me in a bubble bath?  No.  Something worse.  I stole a Damien Jurado song to cover my fading old 8mm film clip.  I will record something of my own one day and replace his song.  But for now. . . shamefully yours. . . . 

Oh. . . here's the full song.  

Thanks, Sky.  You are a champ.  

No comments:

Post a Comment