Saturday, June 29, 2024

Insanity Abounds

Obviously we are living in End Times.  These are certainly the Last Days.  The presidential debate upset me so much that last night I had YouTube read The Book of Revelations to me.  Holy cow!  I can't imagine anyone being introduced to this as a child.  John the Elder was obviously a disturbed and dangerous man.  No more, perhaps, than the State Superintendent of Schools in Oklahoma, Ryan Walters who says the scriptures must be taught in classrooms.  I can't fathom what this man is thinking.  We've obviously never met or he would change his tune tout suite.  Talk about wailing and the gnashing of teeth!  I'd have them scrambling for the nearest exits.  Or. . . they would laugh and be charmed by my insouciant presentation.  I've done it before.  

"So, kids. . . what knowledge did the fruit impart to Adam and Eve?  C'mon, c'mon.  Anyone?  Was it calculus?  The periodic table?  O.K.  No.  What did they do after they ate the fruit?  They became ashamed of their nakedness and so they hid.  They were now fully aware sexual beings.  And for this, what was Adam's punishment?  He had to earn his bread by the sweat of his brow.  And what was Eve's?  That's right. . . the pain of childbirth.  Now let me ask you fellows something.  How many of you will ever suffer the pain of childbirth?  Right.  And gals. . . how many of you have ever had to work?  Really.  So many of you.  It doesn't seem fair, really, does it?  I mean, somehow this needs updating 'cause you've gotten a double whammy!"

And so on. 

Let me at 'em Ryan Walters!

But man. . . that Book of Revelations is a real hoot.  John sees Christ as a slain lamb risen with seven eyes and seven horns.  What drug must he have taken?  

But I wander.  It was the debate that sent me to the Bible.  It was The Liar vs The Turnip.  But word on the street has it that Trump was able to slip Biden a Mickey Finn.  Biden was given a drink that he thought was going to make him more mentally acute, but it was really 1000 mg of high test THC.  The poor fucker is lucky he didn't shit his pants.  Rather, there he stood, staring with mouth agape, unable to complete a sentence.  

"We finally beat Medicare," he declared.  

I like what Michelle Goldberg had to say about it in the New York Times: "Trump teed up Biden to talk about abortion with his outrageous falsehood about “everybody” wanting Roe overturned. And Biden responded with an incomprehensible word salad that included, 'There’s a lot of young women being raped by their in-laws, by their spouses, brothers and sisters.'"

Now that's some real shit talking, that is.  And, unsurprising to many, he gave away his racist roots when he talked about immigrants stealing "Black jobs."  What was he talking about?  Picking fruit?  Waiter on a train?  Digging ditches and washing dishes?  

The man was fucked up.  He was spewing Devil Talk.  

I heard from a former employee of The Drudge Report, however, that there is a plot afoot which might work out for Biden.  If the Supreme Court rules in favor of Presidential Immunity, Biden can have Trump assassinated without reprisal.  My source emphasized, however, that this is so far only theoretical as we still need to wait and see how the court rules.  

Politics is a dirty business.  

So it is truly without doubt that Trump will be elected once again, and we will suffer through Trump 2.0.  I want to thank all my judgey Progressive friends for this.  You'll deserve what you get this go 'round.  Trump is definitely the Beast with Two Backs!

Wait--I think I screwed that up a bit.  Whatever.  It works.  


One of the gymroids sent to a group text a picture of an elephant screwing a donkey to which I responded:

"Happy Dancing Trumper Trash celebrate as things fall apart just as Rome burned to Nero's fiddle.  Shit is fucked up and the clowns are screaming, "No, no. . . look over there, look over there—the elephant's fucking the donkey!"  Meanwhile, the national debt has overtaken the GDP, the smart money is bailing on Wall Street, and banks are selling off their mortgage loans before they get stuck again like the 90s.  But, I guess, we deserve what we get.  Like Germany in the '30s, we're ripe for a Hitler."

That got no laughs, but the fellow wrote back as if a 3rd grader who just got spanked by the teacher, "That made our country look so bad to other countries." 

Wow!  This guy makes a million dollars a year talking on the radio.  Rumor has it that he is a Trumper.  

What can one say?  We are nation of retarded children obsessed with the Hawk Tuah Girl.  

"American man like phlegm on penis?"

Maybe the Book of Revelations isn't so crazy after all.  

We do what we can, I guess.  So. . . to end on a better note, my friend V gave me a present at lunch on Wednesday.  

Holy smokes, were they good.  I ate them all in a couple of days and went online to find them.  Amazon, of course.  I bought four more boxes.  They arrive today.  I urge you to rid yourself of your hard earned cash and buy a box just to see. 

Italian soft nougat packed with almonds, hazelnuts, cranberries and forest fruits. Suitable for vegetarians.

I'm not kidding.  You will thank me. . . or V.   

I wrote to her to tell her how wonderful it was to see her again and to thank her for the gift.  She wrote back that though she thought this might be the last time she came back, her daughter had such a wonderful time she is sure they will be returning.  Her daughter "sends her love."  

Hey now!

O.K. I know, I know. . . but since I quit caring, things have gotten much more exciting.  And there is the key to life, my friends.  Don't buy into this Anthony Bourdain as Life Coach shit.  You'd have to be a moron to follow in his footsteps.  Well, I guess my dead ex-friend Brando was sort of that type, and I went with him on many a foolish adventure both domestic and abroad, but I never took him for a Spiritual Guide.  

As I say, these are probably End Times and one will be judged on one's thoughts and deeds.  Once the oceans rise and the sun turns black, there will be no escape.  

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