Thursday, May 15, 2025

A Sissy Goes to the Doctor

2018, Havana, Cuba.  To prove I was a Hemingway Hero, I challenged all comers to meet me in this fighting ring, bar none.  



But the hombres had little interest in fighting a madman.  Ha!

Just kidding, of course.  Yesterday, wounded and only walking as needed, I sat at my computer culling work for my proposed website all the live-long day.  I was working in the Cuba files.  Oo-la-la, there are some tasty bits in there, though the photos are no more than travel pictures, illustrations for an article, perhaps.  They are good, I think, but not "art."  And that brings me to a dilemma in building a website.  

But I'll get to that.  

As I went through the photos, there were two trips intermingled in the folder.  One was with Ili in 2017.  One day I got a hair and said to her, "Let's go to Cuba."

"O.K." she said, and without much preparation, we booked a direct flight.  Halfway there, I began to question myself.  WTF?  We would just land and see what happened.  Ili had booked an apartment through an Air B&B site online.  When we got to the airport, I knew to exchange money there for the best rate.  Then we got a cab, gave the driver an address, and we were on our way.  

The trip turned out to be very easy.  Cuba was now a tourist destination, though most people were coming by cruise ship and staying only a day or two.  

As I went through the photos, I was surprised to come across some movie clips.  I'd forgotten all about them.  There was Ili on our first afternoon sitting at a table in the Floridita drinking a frozen daiquiri.  Three takes.  I asked her where we were and what we were doing.  

"We are at the Floridita drinking. . . I forgot what these are called."

"Daiquiris."

"We are sitting in the Floridita drinking daiquiris," she grinned.

"And what are we going to have to eat?"

With a mischievous look in her eye, she said, "Hemingway's balls."  

WTF?

She did this each time, for all three takes.  

I have lots of photographs of her, of course, but this was one of the few times I actually shot her with video.  There we were on a sudden adventure before the accident, me a bit chubby but healthy, she looking wonderful and still in love.  I decided to take the clips into Adobe Premiere and edit them into a little video.  I don't do enough video editing and I keep forgetting how to use the program which, it seems to me, has been updated every time I go to use it.  It took me a long time to remember how to make titles (I did a shitty job), cut and move clips on the timeline, and add transitions.  The audio was pretty bad as I was using the built-in mic on the camera, so I tried to clean it up a bit.  Then I tried to white balance and brighten the video.  I didn't do a very good job at any of it, still, the clips were quite  improved.  After spending way too much time on this silly project, I rendered it ready to send. . .  where?  I wanted to post it to YouTube so I could put it on the blog, but I decided against that.  

It was a lot of time spent with Ili's fanciful images.  But I was O.K.  

When I ran across the photos of me in the fighting gym that I had stumbled onto as I walked some neighborhood back streets, I thought, "Yea. . . that is me, alright, all faux-fury and bluster. .  . a sissy-boy playing up his manhood."  I was thinking about the trip to the doctor this morning.  

I am worried, of course, but more. . . I am scared.  I could call it "anxious," but that would be underselling it.  As I've confessed, I have come to realize that I am and always have been an anxiety-ridden fellow, but sometimes I am just plain scared.  I am afraid of my visit with the surgeon this morning.  I am afraid I'll pass out when I see the hole in my leg, or maybe just vomit.  I don't want to be the one who has to clean it and care for it at home.  I want to close my eyes and let someone else do it.  

But there is no one else.  I'll have to cowboy up.  

I won't go into my paranoia about all the things that might go wrong.  I keep imagining that the wound won't heal and all that would entail.

I'm that kind of guy.  

I'm also the kind of guy, though, who would always take off on a romantic adventure.  At the end of the trip, Ili told me, "My god, that was the most romantic thing I have ever done."

"Stick with me, kid.  You ain't seen nothing yet."

And for awhile, it was true.  But that is for another time, perhaps. . . or perhaps not.  




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