It was 94 degrees at five o'clock yesterday when I left my mother's house. I got into the car to go to the grocery store. No a.c. It just quit working. 2005 Xterra. I love the thing, but the power steering has quit working, the door hinge needs replacing, and now the a.c. What to do? Everyone else seems to know what I should do. I don't know, man. . . I really don't know.
What I DO know is that I don't want to drive the rest of this summer without a.c. That is what I know.
I am just fucking worn out with things. The house repair guy was supposed to show up on Monday. Haven't heard from him. I bit my tongue yesterday so hard and at such an angle that it swelled up like a ping pong ball in my mouth. I couldn't talk right. Of course, my imagination. . . "what if they have to remove part of my tongue?
After eating a steak the night before, I made a brown jasmine rice/lentil/tofu dinner. Then I did something I've never done before--I made Toll House chocolate chip cookies. Almost. The tenant just got back from visiting her mother and came down to the house to see how I was doing since the last time she saw me, I was in the hospital. So I kinda made them. Holy shit, they were good.
Trump signed into law an order to prosecute anyone who makes an explicit deep fake of someone else. It also included non-consensual explicit photos of someone. I think they should just make it non-consensual photographs period. Basically, photography should be outlawed as should all representative art, really. Everyone who came to my studio signed a model release. Consensual. But the lady in the photo above didn't. Apparently I did ask her if I could take her picture. I mean, it looks like it. But there is no documentation of that. Looking back at photography since its inception, there are a lot of pictures of people in parks, National Monuments, in cars, at work, in the streets. . . . We might like having this visual documentation of the world as it was. . . but it is just wrong. Really, they just need to make a law against photography. But drawing and painting of people is too much like AI. They are "deep fakes," too. Outlaw them. We need to be zealous in this.
What the fuck is a non-consensual explicit photo? It sounds like rape.
"Don't! Stop! Help! No!!!!"
That seems pretty unlikely. It sounds a whole lot like the testimony of P. Diddy's girlfriend. You know, he manipulated her into thinking he loved her as he brought boys in to do sex to her--for many years. And the drugs? Oh, sure. . . she took them, but. . . .
Everybody is exploited. Like Trump. Nobody's responsible for anything. Everything is done to them.
"They made me go to church. I was brainwashed by that crazy shit. I was a victim. I was helpless."
"They made me go to school. It was o.k. at first, but, you know. . . they started filling me up with these ideas. . . ."
"It was fun eating all that junk food, but then I couldn't stop."
"Smoking. Drinking."
You might as well face it. . . you're addicted to love!
I think we need a law making everything illegal. Everybody needs to go to jail.
Stupid rant. O.K. O.K. I am just in a state this morning. I think I'll quit drinking again. Maybe I need a Xanax. I'm a victim, too. I didn't consent to global warming, but now I am suffering through unrelenting heat. I didn't vote for Trump. My electric bill is too high. I am spending tens of thousands of dollars on house repairs. And now I need to buy a new car.
Yea. . . I need a Xanax.
I'll take my car someplace today to see how much fixing the a.c. will cost. But I need my car tomorrow to go see the doc about my leg. That, of course, is adding to my. . . to my what? What do I call it? Depression? Anxiety? Just mere madness?
There is the realization, of course, that the worst is yet to come.
Yes. . . I think I need that Xanax.
Good picture though, huh?
"But why did you take it? What is it supposed to mean?"
"Just another example of First World Voyeurism, I guess."
Right?
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