Rescued

Being without internet was like being lost on a desert island.  So much depends on the internet.  I couldn't even play music.  I don't have a CD player or a stereo in the house.  I could do things on my phone, of course, but I find that very irritating.  My thumbs have not evolved enough to work quickly on a phone keyboard.  I DO use my thumbs, but it isn't fun.  Hell. . . I took typing in high school on manual typewriters.  All my undergraduate papers were typed on them.  It was romantic, even then, to hear the "thwack, thwack, thwack," of the typewriter keys on the page.  

But there was an upside to having lost internet, too.  I got plenty done in the analog world.  I wasn't able to run to the computer to Google every whack idea that came across my overactive brain.  Sorry, yea. . . I Google everything.  

"When did Ivory Soap quit floating?"

That one was a surprise.  WTF?  Why?  

What did I do instead?  I went to the gym early and was finished there about the time I usually go.  I experimented with alcohol transfers of photos printed on plastic sheets (not there with that process yet).  I read half a book.  And it wasn't even one.  

The repairman came on time surprisingly.  He was a nice fellow, and he checked everything from the outside cable to the modem and router in the house.  Then he replaced both.  My landline telephone is even working now.  If it ever rings, I'm afraid I'll jump out of my skin.  I'll never answer it and there is no message retrieval connected to it, but it is cool to have again.  

And then it was three.  I decided to go to REI for their BIG sale.  I had gone on Saturday, but you couldn't park within a mile of the store.  People were getting into fistfights in the parking lot, so I bailed.  Yesterday afternoon, however, was more normal and I parked right in front of the store.  But the BIG sale was a bit of a joke.  I needed running shoes.  Hokas.  Of course, the 20 and 30 percent coupons did not apply to the Hokas.  Seriously?  I had $35 in co-op earnings that I used, but the remaining amount was $180.  Man, these mo'fo's better be worth it.  They ARE the most touted shoe in the land, but at that price. . . . 

After my ridiculous purchase, I went to the grocery store and bought the makings of a Memorial Day picnic dinner.  It should have been lunch, but with the repairman scheduled for one, it was impossible.  I invited the tenant, and at four thirty we were drinking beers and prepping the holiday fare--chili cheese hotdogs with onions on toasted brioche buns.  

My diet goes back to healthy today.  

But that oh-so-nothing narrative is just to illustrate how long a day without internet is and how much you can do.  I wish I could buy internet usage for two hours in the morning and one at night.  My life would be much more productive.  

I overheard a conversation between two irritating people at the gym that resonated with me.  They were conservative progressives or some such liberal yuppie bullshit--I couldn't make it out.  Oh, but talked about the trouble of our times in hushed and worried voices.  They were concerned people, the types who emote their views.  They were really feeling it, and I thought, "Dems are never going to win again with people like this."  It will just be another strongly worded letter to The Times kind of revolt.  

But, as I say, they made a very good point.  

"What would they say if politicians started telling the private religiously affiliated schools to change their curriculum.  What if they went after Oral Roberts and Liberty and Brigham Young and the like and told them what they could teach?"

Yes, yes. . . that was good.  I think we should.  Oh those "darned republicans" want public funding of religious schools until we start giving the money to Islamic institutions.  Yup.  

I almost wrote "Moslem schools," but I get called out on that all the time.  "Do you mean Muslim?"  

"No, I really meant Mussulman." 

 That confuses the shit out of people who don't read.  But here is what the Google AI will tell you if you bother to use the internet:

While "Moslem" and "Mussulman" were formerly used, they are now considered archaic and offensive by many Muslims. The word "Muselmann" is a German term that literally translates to "Muslim" in Yiddish and other languages, and ultimately comes from the Old Turkish word for Muslim, which is "müsliman".

I have, of course, read a lot of British literature from the time of the Empire, so I have been. . . whatever.  I wasn't trying to offend.  

The sun has risen now and I have a very busy day.  No need to bore you with it.  I'll just let you know as each catastrophe is addressed.  I need a few victories in a very bad way if I am going to remain in contention.  What happens to the one, you know, who can't keep up with the pack?

Yea.  

Here's something I made for a gal I know.  Gal.  Yea, yea, formerly used, now considered archaic and sometimes offensive. . . blah blah blah. . . .  She's a "special gal," though, who sometimes likes and even forgives me for things I don't even know.  I didn't like the video that went with the song on YouTube, so I recorded the song without it and then uploaded it.  It is o.k.  The song is copyrighted, but I am not monetizing anything.  

So it seems.