Sleepless Night

SleeSleepless night.  Weird thoughts, strange semi-dreams.  I lay in bed from midnight until three before I fell into a semiconsciousness.  That lasted, off and on, until seven-thirty.  Hence, my late and probably incoherent report this morn.  I don't know if I have anything more to say.  I think that was probably the highlight of my day.  It was the capstone to my worried life. 

I am not so good with stress.  I have never been able to control my anxiety.  It always gets the best of me.  

Let me see if I can think of something else and get away from my disastrous, apocalyptical thinking.  

Just mundane stuff.  I need to buy a new pair of running shoes.  I am going to make shrimp and yellow rice for my mother tonight.  I watched a nice documentary on the Rhone Valley and its wines.  The wine stuff was far too complicated for me.  The narrator discussed the many varieties of grapes that grow in the different regions and how they are blended to make the tasty Cote du Rhones.  My takeaway was simply that I should try some of the whites and rosés that come from the region.  That and a quote from Charles de Gaulle who queried, "How do you govern a country that has more kinds of cheeses than people?"  

I now wish to tour the Rhone Valley, though.  

But really, my mother is not doing well and my house is in need of hugely expensive repair.  I am still recovering from surgery, the big scar full of ugly stitches.  

As C.C. likes to remind me, these words are just another stain upon the silence.  But I live with the silence and the nothingness. . . and so I stain away.  

Here is something without words.  No stain.  Just a pleasant somethingness.