I should write tonight because I don't think I will be able to in the morning. My mother has asked that I take her back to the hospital. She is not doing well. My house is a wreck, though my carpenter swears to me things are going well. I don't know because I have not been there. I've been sitting with my mother. Today, her AC quit working. I was, as they used to say, "beside myself." My mother can no longer deal with the simplest task, so everything is up to me. Luckily, within a couple hours, the repairman had come and straightened it all out.
She sits with the blood pressure machine. Her blood pressure is high and won't come down. She is dizzy and is afraid to walk without the walker they gave her at the hospital. She moans with every breath.
So tomorrow will be another hospital day.
"You've been going through a lot lately, haven't you?" she asked me today. Holy shit.
"Ya think?"
My hair is falling out and my waist is growing exponentially because of the cortisols. I checked my own blood pressure tonight. It was almost as high as hers. I haven't felt well since I began sitting in the hospital with her every day.
I won't go into it any further. If I were a reader of this blog, I'd quit. I'd look for some crazy, fun, 15 year old girl's blog. But I think most have already given up here, so. . . .
'Cause here is the truth, I swear I used to be fun
Go ahead run, run, run, run, run, run, ooh. . .
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