Other People

Snapshot.  Holga plastic lens on a Cannon digital camera.  Manipulated contrast and color in Photoshop.  It means nothing.  It is just an example of. . . me taking pictures on a daily basis.  Snapshots.  

I do love a snapshot aesthetic, but I think some human presence makes a picture more profound.  We don't wonder what the azaleas are thinking.  Not even a bird at the birdbath, a squirrel, or a dog could hold my attention very long.  But the colors are nice and the lack of clarity, I think.  

I'm fattening up for the slaughter here at mom's.  There is nothing to do but sit, eat, and drink.  If I make a cocktail at five, it is all over.  I'll make dinner with wine, watch the news, clean the kitchen, and then. . . watch something more.  With snacks. And a drink. . . or two.  

I lose interest in things.  My mother sits nearby scrolling FB on her phone.  Y'all need to try watching television with a gremlin at your side.  

My mother is not a gremlin, of course.  She is just another person in the room without interest in what I am interested in.  

I saw this. . . is it called a "meme"?. . . yesterday.  Yea. 

I don't even know who Tom Hardy is, but I've probably spent too much of my life alone because other people really DO get on my nerves.  

Yesterday while driving, NPR had a segment on helping people learn to travel alone.  

"Start small.  Try just a day trip to the forest or the beach.  Nothing radical.  Something easy."

It went on.  Try a trip with friends or a group where you plan one day to be by yourself.  

Etc.  

Eventually, you can work up to going to Europe alone, meeting a man who will put you on the back of his motorcycle and show you the Italian coast.  

I just deleted my take on it.  I privileged myself by putting down those who are more social.  It sounded bitter.  But I really don't think it is a choice.  I believe it to be genetic.  Herd genes vs lone wolf genes.  You can't teach a sheep to be a wolf except in cartoons.  

But wolves run in packs, too.  Hmm.  What example am I reaching for?  

Maybe I'm wrong, though.  Maybe men alone are the Ted Kaczynski type.   Unibombers.  

Whatever.  It doesn't matter.  I should have stuck with my original point--I'll get fat(ter).  

More snaps.  Here's the gremlin at my side, good old mom, making a comeback at 94.  Again, the plastic Holga lens.  Fun.  

I spoil her terribly.  Now that I'm back, she's drinking all my coffee again.  

"I'd forgotten what real coffee tastes like.  Strong."

She eats my breakfast treats and waits for me to make her breakfast.  Yesterday was avocado toast with an egg on top.  But I put a piece of ham on the bottom, and it detracted from rather than added to the tastiness of the thing.  It was too much.  I'll do better today.  

It seems to me now that every day adds something more to the multitude of things I need to take care of.  Some of it is my own fault, however.  Me and tools and handy things.  The engine on my Xterra has been heating up when I sit in traffic.  Scary.  I thought I'd try the easy thing first.  I bought some radiator fluid to see if that was it.  Well now. . . when I took off the cap of the radiator, it was obvious that was not where the fluid would go.  I got out the owner's manual.  Ten minutes later, I found the reservoir where it should go.  I think.  I took off the reservoir cap and funneled in some fluid.  Then I bumped the cap and it fell into a place inaccessible to human hands.  Piss shit fuck goddamn. . . sonofabitch.  I needed long pinchers.  Of course, who has such things?  I tried using tongs.  Nope. It is like dropping a key that goes through a crack in the deck.  No chance of retrieving it.  I COULD remove a bunch of engine parts to get it.  

Ha!

I will buy another cap.  Twelve bucks.  

So, adding radiator fluid took an hour, losing a cap, and costing me $17 plus another $12 in the process.

Today, I will rip out the old garden.  I've already chopped it down and my neighbor has put a new handle on my sod lifter.  That will cost me, too.  I will buy them a nice bottle of wine from a good wine shop and not the grocery store.  

My only hope is that you get a kick out of the miseries of this semi-fictional schlemiel.  I mean, in place of good pictures.  

I thought about going to a No Kings Day thing, but I was busy with the car.  This morning, however,  I looked at the pictures from the big news moguls and I'm glad I didn't bother.  It looked like Halloween.  I read that most of the big ones took place in Republican strongholds.  I saw a video of a conflict between the goofy fuckers and some MAGA guys on 'roids.  Those jacked up Joe Rogan wannabes were aggressive, walking up inches from the goofballs' faces.  Tough guys, you know?  Might makes right kinds.  

"I'll kick your ass, motherfucker."  

And that's the world I live in--goofballs for trannies and 'roid boys raging.  I'm neither against trannies nor muscled up boys, but back to one of my points I think I might have made--dealing with other people is bullshit.  There seems to be a bunch of whack jobs among us.  

Better, I guess, to stick with pictures of azaleas and mom.  What is it that C.C. always quotes to me?

"The world is mad but for thee and me, and I'm not so sure about thee."

Pretty much.