Lawrence Osborne

Originally Posted Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Oh Jesus Christ of Bethlehem my Savior and Saint.  This Osborne can write.  It is not just that he can write.  He is a sensibility with intellect.  It is good.  Trust me.  It is good. 

As is this picture.  Trust me on that, too.  Some don't.  A model wrote me and said she would privilege me with her talent.  Then, after an exchange, she became a critic.  In the spirit of Q's confession, I confess.  Here is what she replied. 

Sorry: No bueno.  (But many thanks for the offer)
Having been a photographer for the past 10+ years: I don't model TFP, and your work is a WAY underexposed to be useful in my modeling portfolio. (Sorry.)
Again, many thanks for your interest in me as a model.  (I do offer private photography lessons, and occasionally hold 'hands-on' workshops shooting models -- let me know if you're interested)
Smiles,
Amber

If you saw her portfolio. . . but I am over that now.  I thought of terrible responses, then rational ones.  But I will not respond at all.  What can I say?  Your work is the equivalent of a "C" student in a college intro class?  Your aesthetics are uninformed and uninspired?  Who are your influences? 

So you see, cafe life is not all that it may seem.  There is that and there is my blog's declining audience even as I write what I think have been some of the most rocking posts in a long time.  For instance, I've lost Sweden.  I used to have a large Swedish audience, but they are gone.  Where did they go?  Perhaps I said something inadvertently that offended them.  Did I say I liked Norwegians?  I don't remember, but I might have.  That could have sent them off.  Whatever it was, though, it is done.  We grow smaller in number by the day as I grow bolder.  Fuck 'em.  I shall grow more brazen with the receding tide.  I have pandered long enough. 

Still. . . there is the NSA to worry about.  I'd better keep it piped down a bit. . . . .

But back to Osborne.  I finished "The Wet and the Dry."  It was one of the best books I've read in a long while.  And I have started another, "Bangkok Days."  Really?  I must find the root of the city's name.  But Osborne's writing is a breath of. . . old air.  I mean it is fresh, but it is rooted in something deeper than his experiences.  He reminds me of Christopher Hitchens a bit in his erudition.  He is the master of talking about one thing while speaking of another.  His is a non-literal writing.  All of history opens up in a single sentence. 

Whatever.  I am not writing a book review. 

I spoke with Q today on the telephone.  We are able to write, I said, three terrific paragraphs.  But there are people who can top us in a single, perfect tweet.  I am amazed at the cleverness people possess, and through the magic of technology, such wonders are no longer invisible.  There are budding geniuses everywhere. 

But to do what Osborne does, to sustain a thing through an entire book, then another, and then another. . . holy shit!  He is a hero. 

Enough about that.  I fear I have put a fantastic photograph in the wrong place.  It is in many ways perfect and deserves its own spot.  But that is me.  Amber may be right.  Perhaps I will go and study with her and take advantage of her extensive knowledge of. . . things. . . for she is A PRO!  Really.  She takes money from men with cameras when she makes photographs.  And I think that is a bit of genius, too.  Osborne--and I mean this in the spirit it is stated--would really find her interesting.