I went to the factory, went to a meeting, then worked all afternoon cleaning out my office. I went through some documents from a time when I was an expected star of the literary criticism world. I know. . . of course. . . but seeing the documents from that time hit hard. So, mopey and desultory, I ate my lunch in the break room with my secretary, my boss's secretary, and a woman who runs the data department. Oh. . . we have a lot of data. We are all fond of one another, and they know of my woeful tale, the one I a currently living through (or through which I am currently living), and they tried to cheer me up. I told them many truths, and they had many suggestions. I love them for it, but when we left the building for the weekend at quarter 'til five, they were going for some weekend fun, and I was heading home to a smokey scotch alone on the deck and the specter of dinner. I wanted sushi, but the flu is about and that is the last thing I need right now in my physical and emotional state.
On my way home, I received a cheery text from my boss's secretary that included a song called "Hemingway's Whiskey" (link). Well. . . it is not my music. . . and Hemingway didn't drink whiskey. So I said.
"How do you know?"
"Because I am a Hemingway scholar who has been lauded by major Hemingway scholars."
Don't forget that I was looking through the documentation of that just hours before.
When I opened the text, I was already home, sitting on the deck with a smokey whiskey and a stray cat who comes to sit with me now from time to time. I took a photo and sent it to her.
I think I'm more "Stray Cat Blues," I told her and sent her the link that heads this post. I sent it, then I listened to it. Ohhhhh. . . .
It changed my mood. I finished my whiskey and headed out to chance the sushi.
We'll see how that works out, but I was happier for awhile.
I know, I know. . . it was Jeffery Epstein's favorite song. Whatever. I get it. The worst thing that can happen to people is sex. I agree. It has ruined my life. I think about if I had just stayed a virgin and had kept my nose to the grindstone and done my work. How much happier I'd be now.
I watched a Netflix comedy special (I think) with Michelle Wolf. She kind of knocked me out. She is my kind of feminist. I'd not heard of her before, so I Googled her and found this.
I thought, "Holy shit. . . Lenny Bruce wishes. . . ." Fuck yea, Michelle.