Well kids, yesterday did not pan out. Had I taken drugs the night before I wrote that I was feeling the onset of creativity? Are premonitions not to be trusted?
The car which I was told did not need brake work now needs brakes. And a starter. And there is something going on that I didn't know that they need to figure out. I am without my car for a third day.
I got back two rolls of color film. I will not shoot color film again except maybe in larger format cameras. It just isn't worth it. Twenty-six dollars (plus the cost of the film) and the pictures suck. I can do as much with my digital cameras. I can make nice black and white photos with my Leica Monochrom, too. Still, I might shoot black and white as I can develop it myself and there is a thrill running the film through my beautiful Leica M.
Here are a couple photos from the rolls. I came across this on a walk. I haven't a clue as to what this shrine commemorates, but it was spooky enough to suggest ju-ju. I hope being in the broken mirror didn't presage bad luck. I've had enough of that.
I got my second Shingrex shot yesterday. "You might have a slight fever tonight," the pharmacist said. "It is nothing to worry about." Sure. Fevers aren't a bad thing. By nightfall, I was feeling really punky. I had a difficult time sitting up and watching the NCAA Tournament on t.v. I took two Tylenol and half a nerve pill before bed, but even then, I could not sleep. I took the other half. Still didn't work. I tossed and turned all the live-long night. I remember what passed for dreams. They were not fun. I took two more Tylenol. I stayed in bed as long as I could. The ticking of the clock. The empty house. A nightlight in a distant room. The hum of the air filter. The cold comfort of an extra pillow. Thoughts of my approaching mortality. That is what I have to counter the night terrors. Sometimes I am swallowed by it.
Jesus. Last night I told myself I would begin to write more seriously. I would let Hemingway and Salter be my influences. That was the last thing I thought before the giant lizards started eating me. I will have to practice some today. Maybe a cafe, some tea, something heard or seen.
I will try. I will try to do much better.
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