All Deadhead and Stones fucked up tonight. Chillin' after a long, long day. No worries. Me and my baby cat were groovy on the deck tonight, her eating, me with a big ole scotch and a large cheroot, sun a setting, thunder clouds in the distance. It was a fine first day of fall here with a slight breeze and just enough cloudiness to chase the heat away. Indeed for a few moments, there was hope. I took my mother swimming and lay in the alternate sun and clouds, happy and melancholy, having swum (yes, that is correct) two hundreds yards, twenty-five at a time. Whatever. I'm a fat beast of a swimmer and I have never liked swimming. I could feel every broken bone and my insufficient lung with each stroke.
But I'm a stud--and you know rider, you're gonna miss me when I'm gone.
I went to the camera shop again. I gave the repair guy something he needed for an old Polaroid processor. He has never used the Polaroid Impossible 8x10 film and I have, so we are going to set a date for setting up and shooting some of that film. I took an old lens I've had around forever, a brass, 19th century Wollensack 8x10 Rapid Rectilinear. I bought it on eBay before I knew anything about large format cameras or lenses. Turns out that this one is a real f'ing beaut. I was ready to spend a lot of money on an old brass lens, but this one will do fine. Oh, buddy, I can't wait to try it out.
The afternoon was bright and fine, and I should have shot some more glass plates, but I didn't want to bother. Rather, I wanted to work on the story I had started the day before, so I went to the Cafe Strange and got a decaf Americano and sat outside and wrote awhile. I don't think it was as good as the day before, but I got it down. It was too hot sitting outside to write really well. That was my excuse, anyway.
Then it was back to ma's to fix the evening meal. I think she thinks that taking her to PT, taking her to the pool, and cooking meals is what I really want to do in life. She shows no sign of believing otherwise. But I, my friends, am worn to a stub.
Today, however, she is on her own. I am meeting the birthday group from the factory for drinks. One of my favorite people has gotten a job at a factory in Virginia for a lot more money and is leaving at the end of the month. We liked one another from the minute we met. She believed in me. She always had my back. I never had a doubt about her. It is going to be very sad for me today when I say goodbye knowing I will in all likelihood never see her again. After today, I may check out of this factory group. I feel myself becoming somewhat alien now. My time there is flowing ever further into the past, my relevance receding with it. It will be difficult, but I think this will be my last hurrah.
Besides. . . I got my ma to keep me busy now.
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