Boy oh boy, I bought a new blender. I had a 1960s or '70s looking Osterizer in yellow Bakelite plastic with white push buttons that my mother had picked up at a garage sale when I was still a broke assed bitch of a school marm living in an almost one bedroom pocket sized apartment just off the Boulevard. It worked like a charm, but my last girlfriend got rid of it because she had a brand new, high tech thing that chopped and diced and juiced, etc. When she left, I was blenderless.
No more! I got a $39 Black and Decker, and boy is she a beaut. I used it yesterday for the first time. Some milk, one yogurt, a scoop of peanut butter, a banana, ice, and some polypeptide collagen protein. Damn, Sam, that was good. Breakfasts now shall be that way. I am going to start adding oatmeal to it. Some flax and chia seeds. Sometimes blueberries instead of bananas, sometimes peaches. I may try some of the "other milks." I'm just psyched about it as you might be able to tell.
Yesterday, I bought some whey protein to make me big and strong.
No more skipping breakfast for me. I'll soon reach my 300 pound goal.
And to cut down on my drinking, I end my nights with first a cup of herbal tea and then some Golden milk (link).
Whatever. It makes me happier for the moment. I am going to begin meditating again, too. As I've told you, my mind and body are messes. I've been very agitated and angry, dizzy and unwell. I need the old mind/body connection that all you life coaches are so fond of touting. I know all this shit. I grew up with it long before it became commercialized. I've always been down with it. It is part of my cultural DNA. It's what makes me special.
Speaking of Saul Leiter (yesterday), the photo at the top reminded me of his black and white work, much of it intimate photos of women. I won't go on a philosophical/theoretical discussion of the work nor a technical breakdown. These photos were of the second person I shot in the never completed "Home Alone" series. The woman in these photos was wonderful. She was a hippie vegan spiritual yoga person with what some of you would call a beautiful aura. I just say she was a good person. She was working late at a ceviche bar and told me she would leave the back door unlocked and that I should come over but not too early since she wouldn't get home 'til 3 a.m. Good by me. So somewhere mid-morning, I got some coffee and bagels and headed out for her house on the outskirts of Gotham. It was a cool old house but she did not run the a.c. and when I stepped inside through the backdoor into the kitchen, it felt I had entered a greenhouse. The place smelled like the litter box. A real hippie girl, I thought, remembering all the ones I knew in college.
It's weird to walk into a stranger's house let alone a sleeping one. I half expected some guy to be in bed with her. I called her name and she stretched and opened her eyes.
"I'm awake," she said. I gave her the coffee and bagels and began taking pictures. I followed her through her morning routine. She started her day with a sitting meditation. She was well practiced, I guess, because her cat circled her constantly.
I wasn't going to post these photos, but I'm tired of the prevailing complaint.