I may have made a mistake. I told my beautician that I wanted to go a bit darker for autumn and a bit shorter. It looked fine in the beauty parlor, but when I got up this morning and saw myself in the mirror, I was alarmed. My hair seems to have darkened and shrunk in the night. I had become something of a platinum lighthouse, but now I think I have become just another lightless ship in the night. I will be ridiculed by the gymroids and shunned by strangers that I meet. I must resign myself to a life of solitude. I am worse than hideous. I have become another unremarkable member of the horde.
"Ms. Niederhaus drank heavily in the wake of her husband’s death. Her alcohol use had initially increased eight years earlier, when she became his caregiver after he had a stroke; after he died, it got even worse. In another alarming development, she started messaging with a con man who claimed to be her former boss. Over the course of two years, he swindled her out of hundreds of thousands of dollars."News or the beginning of a short story?
I sit. I think about the people I know. They are all in their places settled in their lives. Whether I envy them or not. . . .
Texts come in, one, then another. They are from my former secretary. I am not sure what they mean. She is not settled, but she has a dog. Another from my friend in the midwest. Come, she says. You will love these places.
"But will they love me?"
"Most people," I say. It is true. It isn't. It is just a problem. I can be quite polarizing.
It is Friday. Yes. Today is Friday. Apple informs me that it is Veteran's Day. I must involve myself in something, I think, or I am lost. Don't get lost now, I think. Not now.
I'll wear a hat. Maybe people won't notice. I don't want to sit home tonight. I don't want to go out.
Life is full of shitty dilemmas. It feels abstract now, like something I am watching on t.v. that I am not really interested in.
People are walking by in the street now. Most have dogs. It seems like Saturday. I think I want a mimosa. It seems much more appealing than what I am going to do. A big breakfast and mimosas would be nice.