Wednesday, November 1, 2023

Part One Done

Part One is done.  It was definitely the longest Halloween ever.  I think it must have begun around Thursday and went on for another five days.  It could have lasted longer if I had gone out last night after leaving my mother's.  Tennessee was wild to go out and see the sexy women costumes.  

"I'm passing out candy with my mother.  Just go."

"I can't go alone.  I'll look like a creepy old guy."

"You are a creepy old guy.  You think it's better if we look like two creepy old guys?"

But I was plumb worn out.  After working out at the gym, I went over to Tennessee's to cowboy up and help him build some fence.  This went on all afternoon.  I got a text from the Wrecking Crew.  They were running late and wouldn't be to my house until five o'clock.  I just had time to get home and change.  I poured a Campari and soda, lit a cheroot, and sat out on the deck for a minute before they arrived.  So what was I to do for dinner?  I was feeling pretty beat.  By five-thirty, I was on my way to my mother's house.  

First, however, I stopped at one of those "bowl" places and chose two bases, two vegetables, two "proteins," toppings, and sauce.  I had no idea what I was doing, but it all seemed to go together well enough.  I went to the grocery store next door and got a bottle of wine.  

At my mother's, I sat outside with her and ate.  It was a long way until dark, but I had eaten only a couple of bites before the first kids showed up.  It was before six and the party had begun.  My mother's street is THE Halloween street in the neighborhood.  Kids come from all over to see the decorations.  One neighbor puts up a spook house every year that the kids love, but his is only one of many.  And so the night began.  I started passing out candy with my mother when she was attending to me after my accident.  I had been out of the hospital for about a week and was still on some pretty good drugs.  I think that colored my experience quite a bit, but it became the annual activity.  My mother would not be participating otherwise, I think, but she really gets a kick out of it now.  

Here is just a slight taste of what went down on her street last night. 

I stayed until the candy was almost gone and the crowd had petered out.  I was bushed and couldn't wait to get home and onto the couch.  The house would be sparkling clean and the bed freshly sheeted.  A whiskey and bed was all I was up for.  The sexy costume girls would have one fewer creepy old guy to ogle them this year.  

Now on to Part Two.  That used to be Thanksgiving, but first we have the changing of the clocks.  Why?  Dear Baby Jesus, why?  Nobody wants this.  Everything we know tells us it is bad for our health.  And yet. . . .  

But we are gonads deep into this stuff now, and the holidays are coming quickly.  I've read that Thanksgiving has become America's most popular holiday.  I can understand that.  We are a multicultural country now.  Not everybody likes The Day of the Dead and most are not Christians.  Even for those who are, buying gifts is an exhausting chore.  Tell me we won't exchange gifts this year, O.K? We have almost everything we want and the things we want and don't have are just too expensive.  I know you won't buy me a Range Rover or a Defender, so let's just drop all that and have food and drink.  Alright?  

The kids had fun last night, but I don't know what they do with all that candy.  Were I a parent, there is no way I would let them eat it.  Holy smokes no!  I wouldn't want to be an elementary school teacher today.  Those kids are going to be whack.  

I'm waiting for Q's Halloween pics to come in.  Surely they won't be of children.  

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