Thursday, January 31, 2008

More Old Lost Photos


I was in college, a zoology major taking photography courses with great teachers, great innovators. It was Valhalla. When I first saw Weston's photography, I went crazy. I read the Daybooks from cover to cover to cover. Later is was Arbus and Les Krim's absurd photos, then Franks. I was mad for it all.

My girlfriend was skinny and sweet. She was the sort who took presents to the children's hospital without telling anyone. We rented garden plots from the university and grew tremendous amounts of vegetables. Naively beautiful. We posed before the camera lens. It is all lost, all gone but for a few torn and broken proofsheets. Clouded by time, seen through a veil. She has lived well, I think. I travelled more corrupted streets, sought more perverted dreams. It is American history, desire and the lost Eden.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Experiment Only

Key West has changed a lot since I last was there. I went to all the old haunts, haunted by ghosts but not much else. To screw up a Wolf phrase, you can't go on vacation again, at least not the same place. But it was work related and I didn't have to pay. I didn't take any photographs, either. Wait, yes, I took a couple with the Xpan. I'll have to wait and see.

I am experimenting with scratching, taping, and scraping my Polaroid negatives. It is hard to destroy them like this, so I started with a very nothing image. I just wanted to see how things would look. I am just a copy cat here, but I think I see promise.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Gone Fishing

OK. I have to take a break from the Peru narrative. I am not sure who wants to read it, anyway. But this is a blog, etc. I am going to Key West for a while. Maybe I'll write while I'm there.

Meanwhile, here are two Polaroids from New Year's Eve.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Brando, Part 4: The Italians (see pts. 1-3 below)



Brando and I bumped and jostled our way across the busy square filled with revelers. The next day would be Inti Rami, the winter solstice, the most sacred festival celebrating the mythical origins of the Incas, and pilgrims had come to Cuzco from all corners of the Sacred Valley. The city seemed an explosion of music and commerce, musicians and vendors, the smell of damp llama wool, of skewered hearts grilling on open braziers, chicha and cuy.



We met up with the rest of our group at an Italian café on the opposite side of the plaza. The café was nearly deserted, and we sat at a large table next to a plate glass window that separated us from the square, from all those less fortunate, lazy with a lack of oxygen, slowly taking in the strange rhythm of the town, basking in the late afternoon Peruvian sunlight, the shadows growing, the thin air now beginning to chill. Observers from a quiet corner.



Suddenly at the window appeared an exotic looking couple, tall, attractive. A pantomime of smiling, gesturing. In turn, we smiled and waved back. And then they were at our table, ordering tea and regaling us with exotic stories of their adventures across the country. They were Italians and fascinating, gypsies, of sorts, with those hollow, transparent eyes of those who have long been away from home They told us stories of the mountains and of jungles and said they had jaguar pelts they could sell. Eventually, it became obvious that they were merchants, of sorts, selling their wares to tourists longing for adventure. They were each tall, he sinewy and hard, she a stretched blonde, each attractive, but phantom-like, somehow, shadows. When it became obvious to them that we enjoyed their stories but had no interest in their wares, they called the waiter and offered to pay their tab with large bill that the waiter couldn’t change. They would have to wait for us to pay our bill. And so they sat, waiting rather glumly, obviously anxious to move on.



And finally we did pay and the Italians were able to exit. What fun, I thought, to be sitting in such a place eating and drinking and hearing tales from such strange and exciting people. “Jaguar pelts,” I said. “Isn’t that illegal?” Just then, the tall Italian man burst back into the room pointing his gigantic finger, shouting. “Dogs!!” he screamed. “You made us sit here and wait for a few Intis! You are cheap bastards, Cheap!” And like lightening, he was gone. What had happened? We all sat in the rush of emotion that was suddenly, belatedly coming to us, the adrenaline kicking in, first shock, then anger. “What the hell was that?” someone queried, astonished. Brando explained that the fellow was running a scam and did it all the time. He had probably had that large bill for months, selling his stories and wares to tourist who would offer to pick up their check. “Most small restaurants don’t keep a lot of money on hand,” he said. “They knew that this café would not have change.” An embarrassed anger began to rise in my chest. A coward, I thought, a dastardly villian. “Well, it is a small enough town,” I told Brando. “We’ll see him again.”

Monday, January 7, 2008

Brando, Part 3--Cuzco and the Encounter (see below for pts. 1 and 2)



My mind was a riot. Chthonic mysteries lay all about.

In the afternoon, I met Brando in the sunlit courtyard. He was ready to unveil the mysteries. Leading me through the parks and plazas, Brando was a walking narrative. He traveled by Songlines, of sorts, chanting his way through a geographical poem of places and events. This was the building where Ute first. . . Here there is a small bar upstairs where Sondra met. . . You can buy the finest silver jewelry here. Yearning. The closer we came to the town's main square, the faster and more erratic my own heart beat. Crazed. Scared. Nervous. There would not be enough time or luck to live what Brando described. Somehow, I would not be capable. I would be an ordinary failure.



At one end of the plaza stood the temple and cathedral. Koriancha, Temple of the Sun. The Cathedral of Santo Domingo was built by the Spaniards on top of ancient Incan walls. On three sides, the square is lined with businesses—restaurants and shops. We plunged into the crowd. I spoke little Spanish (tourist phrases mutilated) and no Quechuan.



The central square was extraordinary, Spanish architecture atop Incan stone. The center was a grassy park with walkways and benches surrounded on two sides by European colonnades and on a third by a cathedral. The square was packed with revelers. Color. Music. Babel. I spoke little Spanish (mutilated tourist phrases) and no Quechuan. Brando pulled me into the Piccolo, a restaurant open day and night serving breakfast, lunch and dinner at a horseshoe-shaped wooden countertop bar. I would have my first in an endless series of Bologneses there and then. There was a woman in town, a true beauty, on whom Brando would pour his money and attention. She worked at a jewelry store, or perhaps she owned it, she or her family, and for her there would be no compromising. And then across the bar on the other side of the room, I saw the girl I had come there for, a large-boned German with crazy hair sitting with a fellow in a black motorcycle jacket. She would not look at me it seemed, and I could not catch her eye. I pointed her out to Buz, but his attention was consumed by the dark-haired woman. Our food came and we had just begun eating when the Germans got up to leave. The girl stood, following her fellow out of the café without giving me a glance. I was not a man like Buz, I thought, no Lothario, no Cassanova. I gazed at her back framed in the doorway as she stood facing the plaza, one hand on her hip, silently waiting as the boy tried kicking his motorcycle to life. And then, just as she prepared to swing her long leg across the seat behind him, as if in a movie, she turned her pretty face toward me, gazing for just a moment before she smiled and waved so long. And then they were gone.



“Did you see that, Brando? Did you see that? Did you see her smile?” He had, or at least said he had, and I was able to revel in the warmth of my first near-encounter with The Promise. Travel and romance.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Brando



Is it true? Is there a place that is Eden? An old hotel. . . . Before the crowds came? Before money drowned us? The world earlier writers knew. . . . Perhaps always in travel there is that idea of Jung’s, of something already imprinted in us for which we are unconsciously searching. Sometimes not so unconsciously (James Salter ,There and Then).

I did not go to Peru as a photographer. I took only a small Olympus XA camera with a fixed lens. I shot slide film because I hoped some of the images would find their way into one of Brando’s slideshows. And so the photos went into plastic sleeves and were put away for twenty years or so. Recently, I looked at them and found that they were becoming ruined, victims of a mold that must have formed during the many days of moist heat and no electricity after the hurricanes, so I decided to scan some in order to save them and email them to friends. I was not careful, for the scanning is time consuming work. I was quick but inevitably learned more about the scanning as I went about the task; consequently, the quality of the images I send is varied. After spending a couple of weeks with them, culling some hundred slides from more than a thousand, I decided I would write a narrative about the trip to explain the images. This, too, was undertaken haphazardly and so the quality of the prose is uneven. I send this out to my friends only, for friendly fun. Don’t try to revoke my diplomas.

In 1986, I had just completed my master’s degree and had decided to go with my friend Brando Perkins, to Peru. Brando, who had studied at the Frank Lloyd Wright Institute when he was young and was an architect of some standing, was, by the time I met him, doing less architecture and was becoming more involved in the travel business. Brando owned Brando Adventure, a small company that he began in 1973. Sole Proprietor.



In his late forties, Brando had few possessions. For most of the period I knew him then, he didn’t have an automobile. He rode his bike around town, and often I would see him carrying his architectural renderings in a leather bag from Mexico strapped to his back as he went to meet a client. Once in awhile, however, something red and fancy and expensive and impractical would catch his eye, and he would buy it. For a short period he drove a show-winning MG, but he treated it like a Jeep, charging over curbs and through yards, and once at high speed straight down Park Avenue through a large, white tent set up for the grand opening of the new Ralph Lauren Polo store. The car was in the shop more than it was on the road, and he eventually sold it, I suspect, to avoid incarceration.



His apartment was mysterious to me then, the small, dark, second floor of a wooden house on Virginia Avenue on the periphery of a decent part of town. I don’t know if Brando had a telephone. I don’t think I did. As I remember it, I would simply drive to his house in my Jeep and knock at his door on the ground floor from where I could look straight up the flight of stairs to the second story landing. I would wait to see if he would appear, and if he did, he would always descend in a grand manner and greet me with a strong handshake and a big, hearty voice. His apartment was mostly unfurnished. He slept under a down sleeping bag thrown over a mattress on the floor. Bookshelves of cement block and untreated pine boards lined the walls. He had an architect’s table, a drafting lamp, and a swivel chair in the small living room. And that was that for furniture. Various crafts and artifacts from his trips littered the rooms randomly—a Mexican rug, some erotic clay Peruvian figurines, an African mask. If you were lucky and he was tired of working, he would shove whatever he was laboring over aside and throw down maps of places you would wish to go, places you were convinced few had gone. It was as if the world were new.



I had been to many of Brando’s trip parties before. They were grand affairs on a small scale and budget, and they were legendary. It did not take many people to fill his apartment, so of course everyone I knew wanted to go. Not to be invited was tragic. Inside, there was nowhere to sit, and mingling was difficult. Shoulder to shoulder, people stood in the living room and kitchen, on a short, crowded porch with jalousie windows, and on the landing and stairs (but never in the bedroom). The refrigerator was filled with Heinekens and later there would be various bottles of liquor, something brought back from a past trip—Greek Ouzo or Mexican Tequilla or Peruvian Pisco—horrible liquors certain to make somebody perform a haplessly egregious act. The air would be thick with voices and something else. There were pretty women and interesting men and the promise of travels. But moments before the night became outrageous, Brando would turn out the lights and begin a slideshow which he would slowly narrate. It was not a narration, really, but a lyrical conjoining of esoteric facts and obscure quotations and short tales of mishap, all stories of former trips being highlighted by what had gone wildly wrong, warnings to the timid that called to those of us huddled in the darkness as a siren’s song. Here was a slide of Hunter Carlson drinking tequila from the bottle at breakfast, another of the bloody feet of a girl I knew who had gotten drunk and danced barefoot in a local bar all night until she had to be carried back to her room. There were photos of women Brando had met, a former Venezuelan beauty queen, the daughter of a mayor of a small Mexican town, a German who ran a hacienda in Argentina. There were photos of muscular guides, one, a magnificent man for whom a women had left her wealthy husband. There were pictures of temples and ruins and museums and paintings and fabulous meals in unlikely places. Travel and romance. Brando had been and we had not, but he would take us with a promise to get us there and back, in and out, as he would say, but that was all. You couldn’t be certain what would happen once you arrived. He was no tourist guide and these were not tours. And then, too soon, the show was over and the lights would come on, and the volume of conversation would become deafening, people shouting excitedly, some writing checks as down payments for forthcoming trips. And then suddenly, as it always does, something would go unforgettably wrong, and there would be a crash and a scream followed quickly by an intervention. Outside, a car would rush away and somebody would be consoled, and then there would be the inevitable migration, the last hangers-on slowly realizing that party had ended for now.


Travel tourism was in its nascent days. The boom was about to come. I knew I had not yet seen anything like this.
**********************************************************************************



Brando had two groups going to Peru that summer, back to back trips of two weeks each. He would be there a solid month, but it seemed a bad year to travel in Peru, for El Sendero Luminoso (The Shining Path) had been particularly active. The U.S. State Department listed Peru as the third most active venue for terrorist attacks in 1985. The Shining Path had burned down the Bayer industrial plant in Lima and blown up a power station causing a city-wide blackout. They were reported to have murdered several of the country’s key political figures including the Agriculture Deputy Minister, the president of the Peruvian Social Security Institute, and the former Labor Minister. In 1986, they seized control of three Lima prisons in a simultaneous armed revolt. All of this had been fully covered by the American press. The consequence for Brando Adventures was that Brando would take a beating. In all, seven people had signed on for the two trips. I would make eight. But the instability inside Peru had raised the inflation rate by thousands of percent, and once we were there, everything would be cheap. Peru’s economy was so bad that it changed currency from Sols to Intis at a rate of one thousand percent. Maybe other Americans were not going to Peru that year, but we were and money would not be an obstacle. I would stay the month, then travel on my own to the Amazon basin. Brando wouldn’t go if it was going to be that dangerous, I told myself. My mind was filled with images from Patagonia catalogs and the romantic advertising prose of Mel Zeigler, owner of the original Banana Republic.



Brando had spoken often of Lima’s restaurants, and of the Palace and the Cathedral and of the fabulous Gold Museum filled with the treasures of the Incan Empire. All trips ended in Miraflores, he said, a quiet, wealthy neighborhood on the sea where one could eat endless bowls of ceviche at the elegant La Carreta restaurant. “Lima’s physical atmosphere,” I read in a travel book, “is slightly dreamlike, mostly because of the ganua—a mist that settles over the city between May and October. Under its blanket, Lima’s inhabitants meet at the penas (bars offereing folk and Creole music), shop at the open marketplaces, and dine at Lima’s celebrated restaurants.” Maybe in other years. When we arrived, the city was under a curfew, the airport filled with soldiers and police. The atmosphere was somber and tense. We passed through customs and left the airport as quickly as we could. Through the dark and polluted urban light, our taxi took us through ugly streets, past partially constructed or partially ruined buildings, through neighborhoods where the vast majority of Peru’s poor were housed, riding through the failing light into increasingly more prosperous parts of town, then to the hotel where we would spend the night.

Marshal Law. We dropped our bags into our rooms and descended to the lobby as darkness fell. Curfew. The streets were empty but for the armed guard. We ordered drinks from the bar and settle in to watch them march by the open doorway. A couple sat at a nearby table talking softly in quiet tones. I walked to the doorway to peer into the street, but was roughly ordered back inside by a gun-toting policeman. From the window we watched soldiers round up anyone in sight, the pantomime of nervous faces, hands reaching into pockets producing papers, the police escort to who knows where. All that was left for us to do that night was to eat a light dinner and go to bed. Lima. Tomorrow we would fly to Cuzco, the capital of the ancient Incan Empire.

Brando

Is it true? Is there a place that is Eden? An old hotel. . . . Before the crowds came? Before money drowned us? The world earlier writers knew. . . . Perhaps always in travel there is that idea of Jung’s, of something already imprinted in us for which we are unconsciously searching. Sometimes not so unconsciously (James Salter ,There and Then).

I did not go to Peru as a photographer. I took only a small Olympus XA camera with a fixed lens. I shot slide film because I hoped some of the images would find their way into one of Brando’s slideshows. And so the photos went into plastic sleeves and were put away for twenty years or so. Recently, I looked at them and found that they were becoming ruined, victims of a mold that must have formed during the many days of moist heat and no electricity after the hurricanes, so I decided to scan some in order to save them and email them to friends. I was not careful, for the scanning is time consuming work. I was quick but inevitably learned more about the scanning as I went about the task; consequently, the quality of the images I send is varied. After spending a couple of weeks with them, culling some hundred slides from more than a thousand, I decided I would write a narrative about the trip to explain the images. This, too, was undertaken haphazardly and so the quality of the prose is uneven. I send this out to my friends only, for friendly fun. Don’t try to revoke my diplomas.

In 1986, I had just completed my master’s degree and had decided to go with my friend Brando Perkins, to Peru. Brando, who had studied at the Frank Lloyd Wright Institute when he was young and was an architect of some standing, was, by the time I met him, doing less architecture and was becoming more involved in the travel business. Brando owned Brando Adventure, a small company that he began in 1973. Sole Proprietor.

In his late forties, Brando had few possessions. For most of the period I knew him then, he didn’t have an automobile. He rode his bike around town, and often I would see him carrying his architectural renderings in a leather bag from Mexico strapped to his back as he went to meet a client. Once in awhile, however, something red and fancy and expensive and impractical would catch his eye, and he would buy it. For a short period he drove a show-winning MG, but he treated it like a Jeep, charging over curbs and through yards, and once at high speed straight down Park Avenue through a large, white tent set up for the grand opening of the new Ralph Lauren Polo store. The car was in the shop more than it was on the road, and he eventually sold it, I suspect, to avoid incarceration.

His apartment was mysterious to me then, the small, dark, second floor of a wooden house on Virginia Avenue on the periphery of a decent part of town. I don’t know if Brando had a telephone. I don’t think I did. As I remember it, I would simply drive to his house in my Jeep and knock at his door on the ground floor from where I could look straight up the flight of stairs to the second story landing. I would wait to see if he would appear, and if he did, he would always descend in a grand manner and greet me with a strong handshake and a big, hearty voice. His apartment was mostly unfurnished. He slept under a down sleeping bag thrown over a mattress on the floor. Bookshelves of cement block and untreated pine boards lined the walls. He had an architect’s table, a drafting lamp, and a swivel chair in the small living room. And that was that for furniture. Various crafts and artifacts from his trips littered the rooms randomly—a Mexican rug, some erotic clay Peruvian figurines, an African mask. If you were lucky and he was tired of working, he would shove whatever he was laboring over aside and throw down maps of places you would wish to go, places you were convinced few had gone. It was as if the world were new.

I had been to many of Brando’s trip parties before. They were grand affairs on a small scale and budget, and they were legendary. It did not take many people to fill his apartment, so of course everyone I knew wanted to go. Not to be invited was tragic. Inside, there was nowhere to sit, and mingling was difficult. Shoulder to shoulder, people stood in the living room and kitchen, on a short, crowded porch with jalousie windows, and on the landing and stairs (but never in the bedroom). The refrigerator was filled with Heinekens and later there would be various bottles of liquor, something brought back from a past trip—Greek Ouzo or Mexican Tequilla or Peruvian Pisco—horrible liquors certain to make somebody perform a haplessly egregious act. The air would be thick with voices and something else. There were pretty women and interesting men and the promise of travels. But moments before the night became outrageous, Brando would turn out the lights and begin a slideshow which he would slowly narrate. It was not a narration, really, but a lyrical conjoining of esoteric facts and obscure quotations and short tales of mishap, all stories of former trips being highlighted by what had gone wildly wrong, warnings to the timid that called to those of us huddled in the darkness as a siren’s song. Here was a slide of Hunter Carlson drinking tequila from the bottle at breakfast, another of the bloody feet of a girl I knew who had gotten drunk and danced barefoot in a local bar all night until she had to be carried back to her room. There were photos of women Brando had met, a former Venezuelan beauty queen, the daughter of a mayor of a small Mexican town, a German who ran a hacienda in Argentina. There were photos of muscular guides, one, a magnificent man for whom a women had left her wealthy husband. There were pictures of temples and ruins and museums and paintings and fabulous meals in unlikely places. Travel and romance. Brando had been and we had not, but he would take us with a promise to get us there and back, in and out, as he would say, but that was all. You couldn’t be certain what would happen once you arrived. He was no tourist guide and these were not tours. And then, too soon, the show was over and the lights would come on, and the volume of conversation would become deafening, people shouting excitedly, some writing checks as down payments for forthcoming trips. And then suddenly, as it always does, something would go unforgettably wrong, and there would be a crash and a scream followed quickly by an intervention. Outside, a car would rush away and somebody would be consoled, and then there would be the inevitable migration, the last hangers-on slowly realizing that party had ended for now.

Travel tourism was in its nascent days. The boom was about to come. I knew I had not yet seen anything like this.

Brando

Is it true? Is there a place that is Eden? An old hotel. . . . Before the crowds came? Before money drowned us? The world earlier writers knew. . . . Perhaps always in travel there is that idea of Jung’s, of something already imprinted in us for which we are unconsciously searching. Sometimes not so unconsciously (James Salter ,There and Then).

I did not go to Peru as a photographer. I took only a small Olympus XA camera with a fixed lens. I shot slide film because I hoped some of the images would find their way into one of Brando’s slideshows. And so the photos went into plastic sleeves and were put away for twenty years or so. Recently, I looked at them and found that they were becoming ruined, victims of a mold that must have formed during the many days of moist heat and no electricity after the hurricanes, so I decided to scan some in order to save them and email them to friends. I was not careful, for the scanning is time consuming work. I was quick but inevitably learned more about the scanning as I went about the task; consequently, the quality of the images I send is varied. After spending a couple of weeks with them, culling some hundred slides from more than a thousand, I decided I would write a narrative about the trip to explain the images. This, too, was undertaken haphazardly and so the quality of the prose is uneven. I send this out to my friends only, for friendly fun. Don’t try to revoke my diplomas.

In 1986, I had just completed my master’s degree and had decided to go with my friend Brando Perkins, to Peru. Brando, who had studied at the Frank Lloyd Wright Institute when he was young and was an architect of some standing, was, by the time I met him, doing less architecture and was becoming more involved in the travel business. Brando owned Brando Adventure, a small company that he began in 1973. Sole Proprietor.

In his late forties, Brando had few possessions. For most of the period I knew him then, he didn’t have an automobile. He rode his bike around town, and often I would see him carrying his architectural renderings in a leather bag from Mexico strapped to his back as he went to meet a client. Once in awhile, however, something red and fancy and expensive and impractical would catch his eye, and he would buy it. For a short period he drove a show-winning MG, but he treated it like a Jeep, charging over curbs and through yards, and once at high speed straight down Park Avenue through a large, white tent set up for the grand opening of the new Ralph Lauren Polo store. The car was in the shop more than it was on the road, and he eventually sold it, I suspect, to avoid incarceration.

His apartment was mysterious to me then, the small, dark, second floor of a wooden house on Virginia Avenue on the periphery of a decent part of town. I don’t know if Brando had a telephone. I don’t think I did. As I remember it, I would simply drive to his house in my Jeep and knock at his door on the ground floor from where I could look straight up the flight of stairs to the second story landing. I would wait to see if he would appear, and if he did, he would always descend in a grand manner and greet me with a strong handshake and a big, hearty voice. His apartment was mostly unfurnished. He slept under a down sleeping bag thrown over a mattress on the floor. Bookshelves of cement block and untreated pine boards lined the walls. He had an architect’s table, a drafting lamp, and a swivel chair in the small living room. And that was that for furniture. Various crafts and artifacts from his trips littered the rooms randomly—a Mexican rug, some erotic clay Peruvian figurines, an African mask. If you were lucky and he was tired of working, he would shove whatever he was laboring over aside and throw down maps of places you would wish to go, places you were convinced few had gone. It was as if the world were new.

I had been to many of Brando’s trip parties before. They were grand affairs on a small scale and budget, and they were legendary. It did not take many people to fill his apartment, so of course everyone I knew wanted to go. Not to be invited was tragic. Inside, there was nowhere to sit, and mingling was difficult. Shoulder to shoulder, people stood in the living room and kitchen, on a short, crowded porch with jalousie windows, and on the landing and stairs (but never in the bedroom). The refrigerator was filled with Heinekens and later there would be various bottles of liquor, something brought back from a past trip—Greek Ouzo or Mexican Tequilla or Peruvian Pisco—horrible liquors certain to make somebody perform a haplessly egregious act. The air would be thick with voices and something else. There were pretty women and interesting men and the promise of travels. But moments before the night became outrageous, Brando would turn out the lights and begin a slideshow which he would slowly narrate. It was not a narration, really, but a lyrical conjoining of esoteric facts and obscure quotations and short tales of mishap, all stories of former trips being highlighted by what had gone wildly wrong, warnings to the timid that called to those of us huddled in the darkness as a siren’s song. Here was a slide of Hunter Carlson drinking tequila from the bottle at breakfast, another of the bloody feet of a girl I knew who had gotten drunk and danced barefoot in a local bar all night until she had to be carried back to her room. There were photos of women Brando had met, a former Venezuelan beauty queen, the daughter of a mayor of a small Mexican town, a German who ran a hacienda in Argentina. There were photos of muscular guides, one, a magnificent man for whom a women had left her wealthy husband. There were pictures of temples and ruins and museums and paintings and fabulous meals in unlikely places. Travel and romance. Brando had been and we had not, but he would take us with a promise to get us there and back, in and out, as he would say, but that was all. You couldn’t be certain what would happen once you arrived. He was no tourist guide and these were not tours. And then, too soon, the show was over and the lights would come on, and the volume of conversation would become deafening, people shouting excitedly, some writing checks as down payments for forthcoming trips. And then suddenly, as it always does, something would go unforgettably wrong, and there would be a crash and a scream followed quickly by an intervention. Outside, a car would rush away and somebody would be consoled, and then there would be the inevitable migration, the last hangers-on slowly realizing that party had ended for now.

Travel tourism was in its nascent days. The boom was about to come. I knew I had not yet seen anything like this.

Saturday, January 5, 2008


One of the problems I have developing a recognizable style is that I keep forgetting what I did to get a look. It is often weeks before I get back to processing photographs, and my memory doesn't seem to work the way it used to. And I don't write anything down. I know most of what I did with this photograph, but I must be forgetting something because I can't seem to replicate it. I can't even remember how I made the border.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Last Days



I wrote last night's missive between drinking at the museum and drinking during the election returns. The fellows and gals at the Camera Club are good people and bring every bit of wit and wisdom to the world that they can offer.

Something has happened to all my files on my hard drives. Plural. I can't find anything. End Times.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

It's Not What You Do That Pisses Me Off. . .



I went to a photography opening at the local Art Museum tonight. I was duped. It turned out to be an exhibit by the Kamera Klub.

I don't consider myself a photographer, let alone a Photographer. Cameras both obsess and embarrass me. An acquaintance I don't especially like, a Professional Photographer, once tried to insult me by calling me a Shutterbug. Yes, I said, I like that. I am a Shutterbug. Don't misunderstand me. I am in love with photography. I studied it in college, though it was not my major. I got a degree in Zoology, but I didn't take my foreign language requirement but rather kept taking photography courses until the Dean of Arts and Sciences called me to his office and said, "Don't you think it's time to graduate?" He said that the university would have to begin charging me out of state tuition, etc. Even after graduation, though, I studied with some very wonderful and talented and recognized photographers. It was usually fun. They were great men and women who liked giving their impressions of life. Most didn't make a big deal out of it but encouraged us to find our way. I am an image junkie and look upon pictures incessantly. I like to watch, as Chauncy (?) says in "Being There." A camera gives some permission to do that, to stare at people without getting into a confrontation. Not as much as it used to, but still more than is possible just walking around in the street. There are so many good images that it drives me crazy. And I have so many in my head that I would like to make given the time and courage. . . .

Oh, those images from the Kamera Klub were awful.

But who am I to complain?

Here are some images from the trip I took during the three months after they made me graduate, before I had to go to work, my gypsy/hippie travels on Kerouak's Road around the U.S.A, in the dust of Robert Frank and the fumes of Arbus. Derivative work, as always, but it is mine.






If I am going to show this sort of thing, though, I shouldn't complain in public about the Kamera Klub.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Cameraholics Anonymous

You can tell a lot about a person by the cameras s/he uses. Perhaps not uses, but owns. I have too many. It keeps me from developing a recognizable style. I read some advice in a forum once that Jock Sturges gave to a good new photographer. He told him that there are only a handful of art photographers in the world who make a living and those who do have a trademark style. You know who took the photograph as soon as you see the picture. Good advice, I guess. I studied with Jerry Ulesman. No mistaking one of his photographs. Recently, though, I went to hear him lecture, and he said that with the advent of Photoshop, he felt as if he had been teaching horseshoes for the past thirty years. He is married to Maggie Taylor whose digital work is wonderful. Funny combo.

But I've gone astray. I found Frank Petronio's blog online the other day and spent a couple of hours reading through it. I wrote him a fan's note and he turns out to be a very friendly and helpful fellow. His site is full of good stuff. I am linking one of his entries here in which he talks about his camera obsession. Awful.

Here is a photograph of a very good photographer using her favorite--a Holga. After a while, I guess, you just simplify.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Whiskey at the Fin de Siecle

The Whiskey seemed to help. I didn't get sick, but there was a downside. I didn't do much today.