Even now, I rise before the sun. It is not necessarily a race I care to win. . . but I do. I rise blankly, make coffee, read the news. There is nothing that competes with habit. Trying to break it is another thing. I have decided to stay neutral, to stay numb. Maybe its the times. First the plants, then the animals. Now the climate is flummoxed. It will be a wet and tropical autumn and winter here. Looking out the window is like looking at a movie set, a sterile replica. The outrage and paranoia of the people scares me. More than that. Pleasures are deemed perverse. I cannot stand to look at the crowd. I want things I cannot have.
This is all the fault of reproduction. There are just too many people. Resources are scarce. Borders bleed. We are offered terrible choices.
I like this from an article about Dave Chappelle's take on voting for Hillary Clinton:
He likened voting for her to a hypothetical situation of actress Halle Berry breaking wind in his face during sexual relations. “I’m still going to go for it,” he said. “But I wish she hadn’t done that thing.”It seems to me to describe most choices offered us now.
I shouldn't talk this way. It is not helpful. If this were Facebook, I would get unfriended.
I stole that line about habit, by the way. It is from a song by Amy Mann. I like her music. She is the least happy pop musician ever. Turn away when you play the song. The video image is irritating.
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