Saturday, January 13, 2018
Beauty and Bottles
I got beautified yesterday. I asked for a shorter cut. I don't recognize myself today. Funny how that happens. Q sent me a photo of himself in a suit in front of a Christmas tree this morning. I started to write back, "oh, I'm sorry," but thought better of it when I realized what he was dressed for. Still. . . .
Funny how we define ourselves. People with larger definitions are better off, I think. It is a mistake to pigeonhole oneself. Of that, maybe, I am guilty.
I never buy big bottles of whiskey except when the liquor store doesn't have a fifth. But every time I buy one with a handle, I seem to quit drinking. It has happened again. Bought the big one and stopped. Bottles with handles are a definite sign of alcoholism. So is having the liquor store workers in several locations knowing what you want when you walk in. So are "Get Well" cards from them when you don't show up for awhile. The last two years, I had a dry January. I am just starting this year's now. I have no problem not drinking except for the fun. Ordering a sparkling water at your favorite bar is terrible. Otherwise, though, I don't miss it. I don't get the jitters or the shakes. I just miss the ritual. Ritual, I say. I never miss the habit.
My life should be like that in more areas. We narrow our definitions through habit. How did that old Amy Mann song go?
There is nothing that competes with habit
And I know it's neither deep nor tragic
It's simply that you have to have it.
Ritual, though. . . well, that's another thing. Ritual is time remembered and relived. It is a repetition that is more thought out. It is sacred whether religious or existential. One must eschew habit while holding onto ritual.
So say I.
This blog, for instance, is supposed to be a ritual. Then, it is good. When it becomes a mere habit, it is something else. You can tell the difference.
Like many of you, I am off for the next three days. It seems glorious. Ili and I are committed to watching movies on the couch. That is what we say now, anyway. And it sounds like a good plan. Movies and teas and sparkling waters and lots of healthy snacks.
If I had to pick a habit. . . .