I'm frustrated and bored and can't find real meaning in anything. Is it me or a sign of the times? What's called for is some really bad behavior, but that will only get you tased or worse. You could end up on the local news and your family and friends would shun you. Everything sounds like fun until that happens. So we all simply medicate ourselves and live safe, drab lives. Not all of us, I'm sure, but all the people I knew who were fun now tread softly. Wouldn't want to end up alone and broke at this age.
And so I look forward to a little workout at the track, a quiet breakfast, and some gardening. Soon the boredom will kill us, though, or will cause us to kill one another. There is nothing much that can be done, really. What do people do? Watch movies, drink, eat, go shopping, go somewhere to be amused.
Yesterday, Ili and I, bored and crazy, decided to go canoeing down one of the areas rivers. Canoeing is a well known way to break up. Ili wanted to be in the back of the canoe. She likes to steer, she said. And so we drifted over the clear shallow waters of the spring fed run winding through the curving banks of trees and fallen logs over the grassy river bottom, the occasional turtle or alligator sinking below the surface as we approached.
Afterwards, we went for sushi.
And then we were home. It wasn't even seven o'clock. What to do?
We watched the movie "Tangerine." It was over by eight thirty. We putzed around for half an hour, then heads filled with cheap trannie images, we went to bed. Who knows what horrible dreams we probably had.
We've villainized all the old ways and valorized everything that was once sleazy. I don't know what is exotic any more.
All we have left is this.
It will have to do for now. Old movies like "Red Dust" and "Morocco" aren't available for streaming. I can't even find "La Dolce Vita." All we are left with are films from the Academy Awards, and they suck. I'm not watching "The Shape of Water."
I guess I'll go work in the yard.