Saturday, March 21, 2020

"Make America, um, like, uh. . . what?"

The feds need to legalize cannabis now.  They need to tax it to pay for unemployment services.  Then, when people get their unemployment checks, they'll run right out and buy some marijuana, and there will be more tax money.  My friends said I need to run for office on that platform.  I said, yea, my slogan would be, "Make America, um, like, uh. . . what?"

I just went online to see about getting a medical marijuana card.  Here are the conditions that will qualify you.

My ex-secretary circled "Alcoholism."  Jerk.  I am a drunk, not an alcoholic.  I haven't been certified.

"Hey, Doc, I think I've got the Vodka Palsy."

It is funny, though, that to qualify for one drug you have to already abuse another.  That's the world in which we live.

Here is what an online conversation with a stoner is like.  This is from a friend of the blog.

Her: I’m so stoned and I’m the grocery store. Again. Getting a big hub of vinegar. Can be used for many things.

Me: Is that like I am the Walrus?

Her: And I have the munch. And want liverwurst radish cornichon with butter on a French baguette

Me: I think “the munch” is something different.

Her: It is happening.

It went on from there.  

I feel better, I know.  I'm starting to get antsy.  I need to be stoned like the rest of you so I can sit in the house and chill and eat and get big in twenty days.  A gummy might make the day taste better. 

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