Fortunately for Mr. Sodomite (link), he no longer lives in my state where his wicked and unnatural acts are deemed illegal. Here in the sunny south, we know what is moral and what is not. And while the Supreme Court ruling in 2003 invalidated all our sodomy laws, we still ban unnatural acts, crimes against nature, and other lewd and lascivious conduct. Sodomy, legally defined in Q's state is "sexual contact between one person’s penis and another person’s anus. Sodomy occurs if an individual’s penis sexually contacts someone else’s anus, no matter how slight of contact" (source).
Oh, brother. How slight, indeed.
But this all stems from a childhood experience Q related to me in one of his drunken stupors many years ago. Once, while walking in the park with his father, they came upon two dogs fucking. Q, of course, being young, was anxious.
"What is he doing to her, father?" he asked.
His father, he said, pondered for a bit, and then told him some of the facts of life.
"And so," he summed up, "that is how they make puppies."
A few days later, Q stumbled into his parents bedroom having been awakened by a disturbing dream. Unfortunately, Q found his parents locked in flagrant coitus. Q said he stood there, stunned, as his parents quickly moved to cover up. Jaw dropped, eyes a popping, Q asked in fear and confusion, "What are you doing to mom?!"
"Well," replied his father, "you remember the two dogs we saw in the park?"
Oh, Q remembered, and suddenly his mood had shifted. In excitement and delight, he cried out, "Please, turn her over father! I want a puppy!!!!"
You've seen all the pictures Q posts of dogs, right? He keeps trying.
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