I have nothing today. Nothing. I keep trying, but I am a bb rolling around in a box. I try to break patterns, both physical and mental, but the box is empty no matter which way I roll. I have no stories, only thoughts to contend with. You don't need to hear them. They are like other people's dreams. We all have our own.
The maids come today. A clean house always helps. I will have to find something to do for a couple hours when they come. Not as easy a task as it used to be. Maybe I should just leave town, watch the abandoned landscapes roll by. I could do that. Me, the landscape, and the inside of my head.
I'm still struggling with some matters. You know, the nights are another thing as Jake Barnes so famously said, but daytime is becoming a challenge as well.
Something has happened to my computer, I just realized. All my internet searches are on Yahoo. Somehow, my internet has been hijacked. I have been looking through preferences trying to find the place I can change this, but way leads to way, and suddenly I was into my security preferences. Jesus, all the cookies and things that track me are scary. I have to go now and try to figure this out. I need to discard all the weird sites I go to. There must be ten thousand of them. Something happened to my email yesterday, too. It scares me. Perhaps I'll just wipe the whole computer and start again.
Just when you think the world couldn't get more hostile. . . .
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