Thursday, October 22, 2020

Sucker Punched (Or So It Seems)


I am up very early.  I didn't sleep much at all last night.  I was discouraged yesterday, felt the slings and arrows of personal snubs far too deeply.  At least that is how I feel this morning.  Last night, I felt much more outrage.  I poured it out onto the page that I thought I would publish this morning.  Thank goodness I wasn't drinking.  The writing was full of self-pitying vitriol.  I'm done with that now.  Even the disappointment I felt is beginning to fade.  But it sure made for a restless night.  

The upshot of it all, the overarching feeling that lingers, is that I want to practice silence.  I don't want to communicate with anyone now, not through writing, not through images.  My shrunken Covid world is about to shrink further to the boundaries of my own yard.  I'm putting up the barbed wire and getting attack dogs.  I want to stay in my room.  The goofiness has been sucker punched out of me.  I'm done for awhile.  

For the rest of the period, you may talk amongst yourselves.  

Thank you.  

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