Another bad night in a string of bad nights. Haunted nights. I think I am going to need a light. I was doing fine, but now sleeping in total darkness is nearer to death and the oblivion of the grave. I wake up yelling. A lot. Last night, every hour, though "waking up" is probably inaccurate as I don't feel I ever fell asleep.
I'm afraid the future looks none too bright.
I'm not supposed to talk about it, so I won't, but a close friend of mine has been diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia. That is what Robin Williams had. Thee is no cure, just the slow, then quick, sliding into physical deterioration and madness. I'm sure that knowledge is playing hell with me at night. It plays hell with me during the daytime, too.
And many other things as well.
I thought to watch "Roadrunner: A Film about Anthony Bourdain" on Amazon last night (link). Holy shit--they want $19.95 as a one day rental fee! WTF? No, thanks. I don't need to pay that to watch a bunch of old footage of a guy whose old footage is everywhere anyway. They have to be kidding.
And so, it was the same old night.
Obviously, I still haven't a thing to tell you. But I have evidence. Here is the double exposure I was sure I had mistakenly made. What a terrible shame. I'm sure either or both of those photos were award winners. Every photographer knows where his or her best photographs are--on ruined negatives and lost rolls. They were the best photographs anyone would ever make.
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