My schedule is way off. I didn't leave the house yesterday until three o'clock in the afternoon. I'd spent another beautiful day inside with no motivation to go out. I sat. I wrote. I Googled things. Knowing that evening was the Full Hunter's Moon, I looked up my horoscope. I think horoscopes are silly. People still make a living charting the heavens to find the future when we all know that what we see there is only the past. But, well. . . being a shut-in and all. . . .
Oct 9, 2022 - There's a deep longing to be comforted and reassured, Aquarius. You may want nothing more than for someone fix you some warm, homemade soup. If this is the case, feel free to call and ask a good friend to come over, if possible. Don't continue to play the part of the strong, independent one if this isn't the way you feel. If you aren't honest about your needs, it will be impossible for anyone to know how to fulfill them.
Well, hell yea. . . that was certainly me. . . longing to be comforted and reassured. To my friend who asked me if I thought I'd ever fall in love again, I replied, "Fall in love again?!? When am I NOT in love?" It is part of my melancholy personality, I guess. My heart is full. "I sit at home every night and wait for my Princess Charming to knock on my door," I told her, but I am not certain she will ever come.
Your attitude towards a current relationship is about to be turned around. You realize that you are not winning the game by employing some of your more subtle and devious tactics, which by now would have had most people begging at your feet. This person remains unaffected by your cunning wiles, so you had better change the plot, or lose it altogether.
A temporary separation from your romantic partner could have you agitated, Aquarius. Are you worried that your friend has forgotten you? This is probably an overreaction, but your insecurities are getting the better of you. Find a distraction. Have faith. Phone calls from your friend should prove reassuring. Perhaps the only way to get past this is to stay busy until your partner returns.
I'd have to mentally bend myself into a pretzel to make sense of this, but I was giving it a go. And as I did, Apple Music gave me a gift. A good one. Just the thing for a romantic shut-in on a beautiful day.
Damien Jurado. I spent the rest of the afternoon listening to his music. The day drifted pleasantly by.
My mother cooked a small meal that left me hungry as I hadn't eaten all day, but it was tasty and I told her so without telling her the other thing. After dinner we took our wine outside and chatted a bit as the neighbors came and went. Just before dusk, I headed home.
The cat was waiting. I filled her bowl with food and grabbed a whiskey for myself. I asked Siri what time the full moon would be rising in my own hometown. Moonrise was mere minutes away. I thought about walking down to the lake to watch it, but the neighbor's cat showed up and we were a loving threesome. I couldn't bear to break up the party, so I stayed in place and played a Jurado album on my phone while waiting for the moon to rise over the big oaks. The cats loved and hunted and played but stayed with me in the bright evening's light. I stayed and they stayed and the moon came to us. I stood up to take a picture with my phone, then walked a short way down the street and took the photo that you see. As I turned to walk back to the house, I heard a noise and looked to my left. It looked like two animals tumbling, but I couldn't make it out. Then what looked like a black rabbit hopped across the street in front of me and into a big pile of brush left by the storm. The neighbor's mean assed black cat was chasing it, but broke off when he saw me. We are not friends, he and I, as he is fighter with no love for my little feral kitty. But the road was dark, lit only by the coming moon, and I could not be sure of what I saw. It was surely crazy.
When I stepped bak on my deck, the kids were waiting for me. I poured another drink and retook my seat. The night air was pleasant, the music as romantic as the bright moonlight. I sat late into the evening. The neighbor's cat went home, but the little feral cat stayed which is highly unusual. Maybe she, too, for all her bitchy ways, was feeling the romance of the night. Maybe she, too, felt the moon. Late, however, my phone about to die, I bid the cat a sweet goodnight and took myself inside.
As limp and lazy as I'd been all day, the night had jazzed me. There was no thought of bed or sleep. I sat with my laptop at the dining room table and began ripping songs from Jurado's "The Horizon Just Laughed" album. I sent one of his crazy videos to friends. I was frenetic if not manic.